The whole concept of the secret admirer has come under fire in these modern, socially networked times. We are hyper aware of the possibilities of there being stalkers out there – predators who are following us without our best interests in mind, with a nasty agenda for the future. But there is still a place for the sincere secret admirer, the one who loves from afar and for one reason or another cannot express his or her love at the moment. A love letter would be a perfect ice-breaker, one that lets the loved one know how you feel, but how do you go about it? How to write a love letter from a secret admirer without sounding like a creep or coming across as some kind of predatory maniac? Here are a few tips on how to write an amazing love letter:

Express and Impress

First impressions are made first and quickly, so here is your chance. Your recipient will be naturally curious about getting an actual letter in the mail ( you are NOT going to do this using social media or texting – forget it!). Imagine yourself in his or her position as you open the letter. Everything about it should impress, but also reassure, your admired one that you are a perfectly normal person who has a crush on him or her. In order to do this, give evidence and examples of how you are different from others, how you understand that this is unusual and why you are doing it. Above all, keep his or her interest by not going overboard with flowery expressions of love, but by being tasteful and tantalizing.

Assure and Reassure

Now that you have your future lover’s attention (and if you’ve done it well, you will), tell her something about your love and how it came about. You have to be very careful here because you don;t want fear to get in the way of your story, but let the person know that you have loved from afar, and find clever and creative ways to say it. Be assuring about the reasons you are not coming forward yet, and be reassuring about how you first began to be interested, but be sure that you seem like a sane, normal guy or girl who has simply fallen in love and can’t help it.

Detail Your Plans And Plan The Details

>Here is where you talk about the hopes, dreams, and fantasies that keep you alive. You can be poetic and imaginative in your descriptions, but don’t be overbearing. You need to get across the idea that you think about your future together as a way of dealing with your disappointment at not living in the real world with the whole thing as of yet – but it will come. You want him or her to know that you have plans, and that these are not wild, pie in the sky stuff, but realistic forecasts of a possible future together. Be realistic, but keep hoping and dreaming and talk about your dreams and hopes in detail.

Ask For A Secret Response And Accept If There Is None

A romantic and intelligent secret admirer understands the difference between obsession and appreciation from a distance. You should come up with a plan for your secret love to respond to your letter in some way that will let you know how to go on. Choose a public place for example, like a park bench or an outdoor cafe that you both know, and include a sign in the letter. This might be a paper heart with some adhesive on the back, a small piece of ribbon, or a post it note with a message. Ask your recipient to place the sign in the chosen spot so that you will know that he or she is interested in meeting you. Obviously, you’ll have to be prepared for a no-show – after all, you’re not an obsessed stalker, are you?

Don’t Give Up!

Finally, if you don’t want to take a no-show for an answer, you don’t have to. Make contact in other ways that show that you are still interested, and allow for a response of some kind. Ending flowers might work, or a follow up to your original letter to him or her. Knowing that your secret admirer is not willing to give up on you may be a turn on, or it may not be, but you have to keep trying. If it becomes clear, however, that your admiration is not reciprocated – you get no response or even a negative one – be a lady or a gentleman and bow out. Do this in writing so that your sincerity is understood, and mean it sincerely.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

Write A Comment