There are a lot of “hopeless romantic” types who tend to choose their romantic partners using gut instinct. These people have a much more idealistic perspective when it comes to matters of the heart, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. They have an almost magical view of love. If you happen to be one of these people, there are certain things you should know.

What does it Mean to be a Hopeless Romantic?

People who are considered hopeless romantics tend to have an extremely positive view of romance and love. They typically refuse to settle for anything less than their own personal vision of a relationship. It doesn’t matter how hopeless their situation seems—they just keep on keeping on.

There is an extreme sense of optimism that comes with being a hopeless romantic. This can both work for these people and work against them. Cynical people at the opposite end of the spectrum consider hopeless romantics to be naive fools.

The sheer determination of these people to find “the one” is definitely inspiring, but it can make settling down with someone a real challenge for them. They are always sure that they are going to find the perfect love of their life at some point, and it is worth the wait.

While there may be a slightly negative connotation with this term, there is more to it than you might think.


A hopeless romantic typically has some pretty high expectations of their partner in a relationship. Simple handholding and pet names are sometimes not enough for these people. They tend to demand a lot more, which can be taxing for those who don’t have the same overall disposition.

Studies have shown that people’s expectations of their romantic partners have significantly increased over the past three decades or so. This leads to major problems with sustaining a long term relationship. It can also make it very difficult for someone to find a person they are interested in to begin with.

Downsides of Being a Hopeless Romantic

One of the biggest downsides associated with being a hopeless romantic is disappointment. Most people who have this idealistic mentality are often disappointed that the people they end up with inevitably fall short of their expectations.

It can be very challenging for a hopeless romantic to find someone who is a suitable match. They keep searching for that one person who is utterly perfectly for them in every way. The ridiculous expectations of these people is ultimately what does them in.

It is often the case that they already know someone who is right for them, but they just don’t see it. This could be due to the fact that they perceive this person to be a little too flawed. Unfortunately, this is a fairly common among hopeless romantics, and it is why many of them stay single for so long.

Advantages of Being a Hopeless Romantic

Being a hopeless romantic isn’t always a bad thing, especially if you are able to find someone who is the same way. Those who are filled with love to give others have a lot to offer, which is always a good thing. It is, however, important that you manage your expectations and keep them realistic. If you find the right person, you can continue helping each other grow together.

Knowing when to Compromise

One of the most hopeless things about hopeless romantics is that some of them don’t know when to stop looking for the right person. It can be easy to get caught up in one’s fantasies and keep holding out. The problem comes when the person’s expectations are too high, because it means they won’t be able to find what they are looking for.

Unwillingness to compromise when it comes to finding the right person can be a good thing and a bad thing. It all depends on the actual expectations that the person holds. If someone’s expectations are reasonable, choosing not to compromise is the right decision. Hopeless romantics, however, tend to expect too much from others in a romantic capacity.

Building the Perfect Romance

A lot of hopeless romantic types don’t understand or want to accept that storybook romances are built, not simply stumbled upon. It takes a lot of emotional twists and turns with someone to settle into a place that is comfortable and happy for both people.

Hopeless romantics want to find the perfect love with someone as opposed to earning it through emotional turmoil and strife, which is a problem. This is part of the somewhat unrealistic nature of these people. While the ideals they hold are beautiful and noble, they aren’t entirely based in reality.

Finding a Compatible Partner

Many hopeless romantics struggle for years to find someone who they feel compatible with. While they tend to think the best of people in general, they also tend to be critical of non-hopeless romantics. This can lead to a lot of frustration and searching for “the one”.

A lot of people find being in a relationship with a hopeless romantic to be emotionally draining and nearly impossible. They feel as though they cannot possibly reciprocate all of the affection they are given, which is reasonable. Dating someone with this extremely romantic mentality can feel a bit suffocating at times.

Final Thoughts

Hopeless romantics are perpetually optimistic and seem completely impervious to any cynicism when it comes to finding love. This is a noble mindset, but it can come with a lot of major challenges. Those who have expectations that are too high find it incredibly difficult to find someone who meets their standards. There is ultimately nothing wrong with embracing your love of romance and refusing to settle for less than you deserve. It is, however, important to maintain realistic expectations. It’s also important to understand that the perfect relationship is not found, but rather created through hard work. Being a hopeless romantic doesn’t have to be tragic or filled with loneliness.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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