No one likes to have a needy partner, everybody knows that. If this is the main reason why your boyfriend decided to break up with you, you’ve got to move fast to figure out how to get him back, or else he will finally make up his mind about the situation.

Your main objective here is to erase the notion that you are a “dependent, needy, overly reliant, high-maintenance” girl. You should be able to demonstrate a sense of independence, an ability to carry yourself in a dignified, strong manner. You should get rid of the “helpless damsel” act and prove to your ex that while you need him, you are also able to make it on your own.

Here are some steps to follow in determining how to get him back after all this mess:

1) Develop a sense of autonomy.
You are your own person. You are nobody else’s responsibility, when it all comes down to it. It’s bad to become overly dependent to your partner for your life’s direction and purpose. You have become unwilling to let go of him just so you can feel alive in life. Even if it is said that a relationship unites two souls into one, the fact remains that your partner has different plans, aspirations – a different destiny from yours. Trying to cling to your boyfriend’s control will only make you a weaker, less capable being.

What you can first do is to recognize, one by one, aspects in your life on which you were too dependent on your boyfriend for. Next, now that you’re temporarily away from your boyfriend due to the breakup, use this time to improve your sense of independence on these aspects, whether it’s financial, spiritual, or emotional. Identify which actions or habits you should change to establish a more independent form of thinking. Ask these following questions as well:

  • Why do I permit myself to become dependent to my boyfriend?
  • How, exactly, did my tire my boyfriend because of my over-dependence?
  • Who can help me overcome my dependence on others?
  • How grave is my over-dependence problem?

2) Monitor your progress.
You need to act on your over-dependence issues immediately before you can even attempt talking to your ex-boyfriend again. Everyday, contemplate on your attitudes and values and how much they’ve changed since your ex broke up with you. Strive to become the most independent woman you could ever be.

In reality, the most important dependence issues involve money and emotions. Keep those aspects of your life in check. If you think you are able to sustain your life financially and have a more secure emotional health, then that’s the best time to be on talking terms with your ex.

3) Present yourself to your ex as a more independent soul.
This sounds very easy, but is actually very difficult to do. It requires a fundamental change in personality, and you won’t be able to get from A to Z in a day or a week or a month. But if you are really bent on determining how to get him back, you’ll figure it out. Once you get to speak with your ex for the first time after the breakup, he will definitely notice a change. And this will help you carry on and get another shot with him.

However, I do not know how you can gain this assertive, independent personality, it’s your own personal journey to know how to. In reality, no single “relationship advice” website can teach you how to transform yourself to become more desirable to your boyfriend; it’s only you who will know how to push his buttons.

Recommended Reading

There is such a thing as enough, and if you were too reliant to your ex for your happiness and your needs, he may have had enough of you. What can you do to truly change your character and emerge more strong-willed as a woman? The female version of the Ex Recovery System has a solution to that, and hence I recommend this product to you.

Created by world-renowned Youtuber Ashley Kay, the Ex Recovery System is a best-selling eBook that tackles the basics of breakups and how you can reverse its effects as soon as possible. It focuses primarily on battling depression caused by the onset of the breakup, and how you can improve your life so your ex decides to have a second chance with you.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

Write A Comment