Women, traditionally, are the ones who are dependent to the man for supplication and for security. Therefore, it shouldn’t surprise you if his main reason for leaving you is that you were being too “independent”. The only way on how to get your ex boyfriend back at this point is to demonstrate to him that you also need him in his life, not just want. There’s a clear difference in both.

The truth is it’s not bad to be able to stand for your own. Being “Miss Independent” is the trend nowadays, right? But too much independence will cause your boyfriend to resent you in some ways. For one, men expect to be needed in the relationship. They want to feel like they’re able to provide what women can’t provide for themselves. They want to feel like their efforts to make you happy don’t go unappreciated. If you continue to go with the “I got this” kind of attitude, you’re not helping the relationship in any way. You need to let your man take control of the relationship for the most part, and that includes submitting yourself to him.

Here are some tips to consider:

1) It doesn’t mean you should be dependent on him.
No, that isn’t what I’m insinuating here. Being independent to some degree is great! In fact, it may be what made him fall for you in the first place. Don’t change the very soul of your character just so you can appease your ex. However, your main goal is to determine how to get your ex boyfriend back. If you can’t help but become a really independent spirit, at least, let your man do his role whenever he offers to do so. Downplay the independent attitude a little bit, and let your partner express his helpful, manly nature.

2) Let him play his role.
If he wants to do something or to make an important decision in the relationship, let him do so. Let him steer the course of the relationship. In most cases, the man’s decision will take precedence over a woman’s, and if you won’t accept that, you should at least learn how to state your case without damaging his ego as the decision-maker.

The tip is quite simple: if your boyfriend wants to assert his position as a boyfriend, let him do so. Or else, he will get tired of asserting his responsibilities and rights in the relationship and will eventually leave you, like he already did.

3) Let your independence contribute to the maturity of the relationship.
How should you do that? Well, it all comes down to recognizing whether it should be you or your boyfriend that should be making a particular decision or action. Learn what your boyfriend values greatly in the relationship; those are the ones you should probably not mess around with. On the lesser ones, you can let your independence shine. It’s all about knowing where to place yourself in any relationship situation.

Recommended Reading

In a relationship, the woman is typically the one who relies on the man, so you really can’t help it if your ex left you because he felt like you were not letting him do his role in the relationship. So how can you change your position in the relationship without compromising your free, independent, strong spirit? This and much more is what are being tackled in Ashley Kay’s best-selling eBook, the Ex Recovery System.

I highly recommend this eBook to my readers for a couple of reasons. First, the Ex Recovery System is divided into two: solutions for males and solutions for females. This division ensures that you will find an exact solution to your relationship woes, regardless of whatever it is. Second, the Ex Recovery System deals it the way it is – the examples and solutions it presents are achievable, believable, and are quite in touch with most of our relationship realities. Therefore, if you feel like your situation is hopeless and there’s nothing much you can do to change it, I really suggest for you to read the Ex Recovery System – you will find that there’s still a lot you can do.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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