This term has become immensely popular among people these days. If you are still wondering what it exactly means, then you can be sure of getting all the answers to your doubts. Well, what else you need to know is that you have to be careful of not falling into such a category. When you first hear this term, it may look appealing to you. After all, it has the word “princess” in it. Did you think the same way? But you are wrong here. The word “Pillow Princess” has negative connotations and is used in derogatory sense. Let us find out in detail what does it really mean.

To put it in the most simple words pillow princess refers to a girl who lies doing nothing during a sexual intercourse. But there is a twist. Pillow princesses are attracted towards lesbian or bisexual girls and enjoy oral sex but don’t like to reciprocate it. Sounds interesting or shocking? Well, it’s the real fact. They like to have sex on their own terms and conditions and that too if they have to do nothing in it. Did you get the turn? To put it in crude form, pillow princesses don’t like to actively participate in a steamy sex session and want to simply enjoy dominating their partner by ruling the act. So, basically they don’t give a damn to whether their partners are also enjoying the sexual experience or not.


If you are still wondering, what are the exact traits which makes you a pillow princess, there here is an ultimate guide to help you out. There could be multitude of reasons as to why this term is used for certain women. However, it would be interesting for you to know that even men can be tagged under this category. Here are some interesting facts you need to know about a pillow princess:

1. Fear

Did you know fear is one of the major reasons which can tag you as a pillow princess? Women are usually taught to be meek and submissive which hinders their healthy sexual growth. Their aren’t ever encouraged to explore their own sexuality which makes them tender and fearful. Hence, when it actually comes to experiencing sex with their partners, they are often not able to see it as something intricate to their lives. A pillow princess is not able to see it as a joyful and pleasure experience and sees it more as a burden. Masturbation becomes an important part of exploring ones own sexuality and body. Hence a pillow princess is someone who remains unaware of her bodily needs and also lack the skills to satisfy her partner. This hesitation in a pillow princess is natural as she hasn’t ever got a chance to explore her own self and reciprocating is therefore difficult. In other words, this phenomenon is also called as heteronormativity.

2. Inexperience

You cannot expect a pillow princess to have extensive knowledge about various sexual positions etc. This is nothing but obvious because she probably hasn’t ever tried anything yet. She is yet naive to all sexual experiences. A pillow princess would always be apprehensive to try something new but would pretend to know everything. Basically, she wouldn’t want you to judge her as “insecure”. She doesn’t want to look like she doesn’t know what she is doing. Therefore, inexperience can be one of the main reasons for hampering someone’s sexual drive, tagging someone as “pillow princess” . But the truth is that maybe she really would like to try spicing things up.

3. Previous partners

Yes, you heard it right. If a pillow princess was with a sexually dominant boyfriend, then she would be used to that. She would not be expressive and daring when it would come to talking frankly about her expectations for her sexual life. It is quite normal because a pillow princess has always worked according to her partners needs and satisfaction levels. Hence, she wouldn’t be comfortable talking about her likes and dislikes. It is quite possible that a pillow princess hasn’t got that exposure where she could actually interact and communicate her sexual desires with her partner freely. Basically, you can ensure that a pillow princess to get comfortable around you so that she can make you happy.

4. Sheer Laziness

This may sound interesting to you. It may be difficult for you to digest this fact but trust me, some people are actually lazy and don’t want to perform or act while having sex. But trust me, some people actually lack the enthusiasm to be sexually more engaging and active. Does your partner also don’t like to work when on bed? Pillow princesses, this is a direct message to you. Don’t be selfish to your partners. I am sure they would be looking forward to receiving some pleasure after a long hectic day at their workplace. You need to move out of your fantasy dream where everyone is satisfying you and pleasing you on bed. You simply need to learn to reciprocate. That’s the key to unlock the mysterious doors of your partner’s heart. After all, your partner too would want you to make those efforts and add sparks to his/her love life.

5. Traumatic Sexual Experience

Last but not the least, when you have been with someone who has never appreciated your efforts in making them happy sexually, you often disconnect and begun to feel less confident about yourself. It is quite possible that you would not want to have sex because your previous partners have always been too condescending and also denied you a personal space. What if someone told you that you suck at doing sex? Would you like it? I am sure that you won’t. But this feeling can create a disassociation and you may start believing in everything you are not. This is also a basic trait of a pillow princess who has undergone bitter sexual experiences.


Now that you know what all a pillow princess is all about, you can actually helping your partners. Its not that difficult you see. You just need to be a bit patient with them to make them understand things better. Why not make the first move? As a partner, you need to be mature enough to take the lead and help your partner to get rid of an emotional baggage which they are carrying in some form. Sex is still considered a taboo specially for girls and its quite normal that your partner is behaving weirdly because her upbringing plays an important role in this.

What you need to do is give them sufficient time and act less imposing to win their confidence. Sex is not only a physical act but also got to do with your emotional well being. You cannot expect your partner to not be a pillow princess if all they had experienced in past is torture or sexual exploitation. Hence, in a nutshell, it’s not that tough to move out of being a pillow princess and trust me, if you have the right partner by your side, it can be a cakewalk.

Image Credits

Screenshots were taken by the author


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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