There are a number of telltale signs of obsession that you should definitely be aware of. Whether you are obsessed over someone or the other way around, it’s important that you know about obsessive love signs. Being in love can be amazing, but it’s totally different from obsession.

When you know about some of the more common obsessive love signs, you can give yourself a bit of a reality check. Obsession is never healthy, and the sooner you find out whether or not you have a problem with it the better off you will be.

15 Obsessive Love Signs You Can’t Ignore

1. Something Feels Not Quite Right

One of the more basic obsessive love signs is that something just doesn’t feel right. Deep down you know that your feelings aren’t healthy, and you need to put a stop to it. Listen to your instincts, because they will end up being your salvation.

2. No Time to Yourself

If you are obsessed with someone else, you never want to spend a second away from them. Those who are obsessed with others don’t value alone time, because they just want to spend every waking moment with the object of their affection. If someone is obsessed with you, they probably won’t ever want to let you out of their sight. Either way, this is not part of a healthy relationship at all.

3. Complete Lack of Privacy

Obsession often leads to suspicion and an abject lack of privacy. Does the person you are with demand to have all the passwords to your social media accounts? If so, there is a good chance that they are completely and utterly obsessed with you. Everyone needs a certain amount of privacy, even in a relationship. Privacy doesn’t equal secrecy, and it’s crucial that you understand this.

4. Rampant Jealousy

There is no way that a person can be obsessed with someone without being extremely jealous as well. Do you find yourself constantly getting jealous of even the slightest affection that others show your significant other? Jealousy tends to be a huge problem when there is obsession in a relationship. A little jealousy every once in a while is perfectly normal, but it can quickly become a problem for those who are obsessed with the person they are with.

5. They Keep You Away from People You Are Close to

If the person you are dating tries to keep you from your friends and family (not physically of course), they are probably in the grips of obsession. No healthy or normal person who is in love with someone would try to keep them from seeing other people who mean a lot to them.

6. They Constant Accuse You of Cheating

A lot of people who are in a relationship with an obsessed person get accused of cheating over and over without even the slightest shred of proof. It can be annoying at first, but after a while it becomes a relationship killer.

7. They Move a Little Too Fast

If someone you’ve only been out with a few times says they love you, take it as a major red flag. You don’t want to get in a serious relationship with anyone who moves this quickly, because chances are they’re already obsessed.

8. They Treat You Like You’re Made of Porcelain

Obsessed people often justify their controlling nature by telling the person they are with that they want to protect them, so you’ll need to keep that in mind. If your man or woman is treating you like you’re made of porcelain, you should run fast and far as soon as possible.

9. You Get Criticized by them Often

If you find that someone you are seeing romantically criticizes you for small things a lot, it might be a classic case of obsession. You should be with someone who likes you for you, so don’t tolerate this behavior from the person you are with.

10. You Feel Like You’re Going Crazy

Many people who are involved with obsessed people feel like they are losing their minds because of how they are being cleverly manipulated. If you don’t even feel like yourself anymore, it’s definitely time to rethink being with this particular person.

11. They Tell You They Will Never Let You Go

Perhaps one of the more worrisome signs of obsession in a relationship is when you get told by your significant other that they will never let you go no matter what. If someone truly cares about you, they will be willing to let you go if that’s what you want.

12. They Only Have Bad Things to Say About Their Ex’s

Another obsessive love sign to look out for is when the person starts talking about how every single one of their ex’s is crazy and ruined the relationship. While this could technically be true, it is doubtful. The last thing you want is to be with someone who always shifts the blame onto others. It’s also not a good sign if they refuse to talk about their dating history at all.

13. They Follow You Wherever You Go

A lot of people who get obsessed over someone end up stalking them. If you have noticed the person following you and “coincidentally” showing up where you are, you should be concerned. Getting stalked by anyone is a very bad sign that the person is obsessed and maybe even mentally ill.

14. They Threaten You

If you are being threatened in any way by the person you are seeing, it’s a matter of obsession and not love. You should take any threats the person makes very seriously, because otherwise you could end up in a very bad situation.

15. He is Constantly Checking Up on You

If you cannot seem to go out with friends without the person blowing up your phone, they very well might be obsessed with you. You shouldn’t have to pay the person constant attention no matter where you are.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.


  1. Sarah Cummings Reply

    Wow! This post is very suitable not just for those in a relationship but for those who are planning to be in a relationship. Great information! ?

  2. Will Presley Reply

    This is so wrong! People who obsess are the ones who truly love you! real Love isn’t about wanting time away and alone time from someone this is a garbage article! This is not what real love is!

    • LifeisaJourney Reply

      Good luck on finding True Love, You will learn my friend. If both people are obsessed (what you call Love), you begin to define yourself in the other, read about codependency. Relationships are togetherness, and independence, maintain respect and love yourself and the other… basically Authenticity. Sometimes you just have to live through what you think Love is and more will be revealed in all of your relationships. I use to think as you did. Life is a Journey <3

  3. Well if you think this is a bad post then you most likely one that’s obsessed. You can’t win with an obsessed person. You will get this “we need to clean up around the yard and get it mowed”. So when you do that you get this,” I sit here all day waiting for you to get home so we can spend time together but you come home looking for shit to do so you don’t have to spend time with me. Is it that horrible?” Or am I that bad to be around?

  4. I need help.. I know a girl for about 6 months or more and we had a fight.. I keep our distance and said we should be back to strangers.. she’s too much to handle.. sometimes she acts all loving and sometimes she acts all crazy.. when I hang out with my friends (girls.. I’m a girl) she would get upset and cry.. we fight because she always seems to get on my nerve by complimenting and then talk bad about me.. she even go as far as hurting herself (cutting her hands etc.) when we fight.. somehow I’m always the bad one.. she also asks me to follow her family vacation and clingy.. it seems weird to make physical contact everytime we met.. I think it’s the right thing to avoid her but I can’t always avoid her since she’s a friend of mine which means during lunch we will sit at the same line.. it’s very uncomfortable because sometimes she stare at me (before and after strangers) I hope to make myself clear that I don’t want to have anything to do with her.. what should I do?

  5. A guy that I work with is acting very jealous and obsessive towards me . So it’s this new guy that just got hired and I help with with stuff because he’s new you know and John ( which is the obsessive dude ) does very weird crazy things he thinks I don’t notice like John will separate me and the new guy from communicating on purpose or when it’s just me and the new guy working a hour a head of him he’ll purposely come in the exact time when he’s not even scheduled that time to come in when me and the new guy works . He does that So that me and the new guy won’t be alone . I try to keep as far as John as possible but he seems to squeeze his way back towards me . I’ll often catch him staring at me . Every time I ask someone other then him for help he’ll some how beat that person to it and also he stand way to close to me while trying to help me with something . He makes me so uncomfortable and to mention he’s in his late 20s and I’m a teenager the new guy is also a teenager. John discusses me .

  6. I have an obsessed man in my life I absolutely cant stand. He holds my songs to ransome because he films my work on his mobile for my website. I cant use my utube account. Its been paused on google.
    How can I transfir my music off his utube.. I want free of this man, hes driving me nuts. If I leave him, he will delete my work. He even joined to my email not long ago, harrassing so badly, in the end, I took a huge overdose. I was so angry, It lead me to implode on myself because I had enough. He h ad even text me constantly whilst on a drip in hospital, texting me to die… He gets very very masty. Anyone.. Can you help. If I secure my hard work, im free from him. Im a song writer and Lyricist..
    Cant phone police, they dont help.
    Hes not threatening enough… So I have to put up with this ugly horrible weird man, I cant stand. Please help… Anyone??

  7. Ceri Richards Reply

    Yes but it must be willing on both sides….
    Its all well and good having someone crazy about you but when you hate them or have no emotional attatchment to them in any way, its a blasted nightmare. Obsessive emotional mental cruelty… He attatches himself by threatening my work. Its hard work writing songs and Lyrics, takes alot of concentration, for someone to hack ur accounts and threaten to destroy u if u leave them is a horrible feeling. We were friends for years, 20, in fact but hes become obsessed and weird…

  8. Um, I think I have an obsessive friend. So I got a guy friend that I met earlier this year through another friend. I think it was June when the first and last time I hung out with him. And one thing I definitely remember is him telling everyone multiple times on how his ex girlfriend was a snake and that she only dated him to get something out of it. I don’t remember what exactly is was, however. Over the summer he texted me asking me out. Of course I didn’t accept because I didn’t know him for even two months when he asked me. After I said we can hang out more to get to know each other if he wanted to, he texted me the next day apologizing like crazy and saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. So I said ok let’s keep being friends. I didn’t really care that much and shrugged it off. But then he starts apologizing more and more as if I were crying over the fact that he said he wasn’t ready. I told him it’s not that deep and to stop apologizing. It wasn’t as if I agreed anyways. He said ok and i thought things were back to normal. Then several days later on he says he’s ready, only to say he wasn’t again immediately afterwards. And then he started saying that he wants to kill himself and he tried to FaceTime me. I denied the FaceTime since I was spending time with my parents and told him so. He would keep on telling me that he was suicidal. Which I found weird that he was telling someone who he didn’t even know about his personal issues. I have some personal problems myself, but I don’t tell just anyone about that as if it was nothing. I didn’t reply because I just didn’t know how. He stopped writing to me for a couple weeks until the end of last month. He and a friend of mine asked me if I was upset at the same time. It was obvious that he was talking to my other friend about him thinking I was upset with him. I told them both that I wasn’t, and I think we all moved on. Now he’s sending me wholesome memes and couple stuff like “you’re adorable” and I honestly just want him to leave me alone. I don’t care if he wants to date me or not, I just don’t want to deal with his drama anymore. He always thinks that I’m angry with him when I don’t reply and he even followed my Instagram (which I didn’t NOT give him). I want to get him to leave me alone, but I feel like he’ll start talking about me to all of his friends like how he did with his ex. I’m not worried about him spreading rumors, I just want to get all this drama over with. What should I do?

  9. This post is very helpful to some of us, am an obsessive person myself seeking help to improve my trust to my significant other. I met with this certain lady two months back, and she was just caming out of a broken relationship at that time. Obsessively I told her how much I love her and how I would want us to spend the rest of our my lives together. She requested that we take things, but I was able to can convince her to move on to me of which she did. Later this week it happened that I saw her walking with another guys in town, and I followed them, Without questioning I just started by accusing her of cheating n stuff. Only to find out that it was just a friend. And it messed up our relationship.
    I really need help with things obsession, I’ve been struggling for years now.

  10. Damn sounds like his ex may have really mentally and emotionally destroyed him or at least someone.i feel really bad for you it sounds like he has some serious issues he needs to work out with a psychiatrist.i would try to talk with someone who may try to get him help like the you said he threatened to kill himself he should be in a 72 hour hold to get an evluation.he could be a really good person with some fucked up problems but you do not need more problems then what you say you have.i would try to get him some help if I was you.He could actually start to become delusional if he is that bad…and then worse things can happen.

  11. When you start to become obsessed, you have to look at yourself more. What is it that you’re wanting and needing? You want to be loved and accepted. You want to be heard. You want to be respected and if someone isn’t giving you that, you’ll demand it more and even go all the way to posting angry pictures up on social media to get their attention. Why would you do that over a man or a woman? Why? You need to realize this happened for a reason. You both might be too codependent on each other.

    When you start losing yourself for him or her, you’re going to see this dependency issue that was brought in the relationship early. Maybe from pressure and from being too young and wanting to be strong not wanting your spouse to worry.

    If they can’t see that already, why do you need to prove your worth? If you’ve been with them for years especially? If you become obsessed over proving yourself to anyone, you lack confidence and you’re too much of a pleaser and too nice to them when they clearly are not liking that side of you. What if you lose them? Are you scared of being alone? Scared of just becoming friends? Scared you weren’t enough? Are you scared of failing? Are you scared that person can only love you and isn’t capable of having a life outside of the relationship? All that can reflect a person’s strengths and weaknesses.

    If you’re in a long term relationship or married for an example and someone almost or does cheat, they too can become obsessed over that. Were you compatiable before you dated? Or married? Did you rush into it so fast when you thought you were in love? People can obsess and hold onto the wedding and days they met when things start to fall out of place and they are looking for happiness again. They start to expect romance more and expect their spouse or partner to be that person they met at the beginning. They start to focus so much of their lives on them and their kids too that they start to become very clingy over time. The kids might see this obsession and they too become clingy.

    Now you have a clingy family. No one sees who they really are but in pictures of a very close family due to dependency.

    Maybe the kids know or maybe they don’t. Is it healthy? No. It’s not. They don’t want to break the family apart so they move on from it and you don’t even know about it except the family. Family secrets. They look like a perfect happy family but someone had been cheating on the side. No one is perfect but you wonder why that person fell in love with someone else? That person was looking for compatibility and to me isn’t honest with their spouse yet still loves him or her. To me that is what causes obsession too. If they’re afraid and not completely honest with their partner, they will hide it and want them to be happy.

    Obsession is not healthy and if you’re obsessed with someone, you’re not happy. You need to start looking for happiness elsewhere besides human beings. I think people put their partners too much on a pedestal and that says you’re not valuing yourself. No one is responsible to keep someone happy all the time. If there is something wrong in the relationship, fix it but don’t expect it to be perfect.

  12. I really like this post but I still struggling with my problem with obsession, there is a girl I met in school 5 years ago and we’re classmates, it started all there when I do something that she eventually get attracted to me, she’s a beautiful, splendid and she is just literally beautiful, she has a talent in singing and everyone recognize it, but when I recognize her feelings by staring at me sometimes and telling my other friends that she’s in to me I started rejecting her, because I think she’s high and I’m in low, and I’m finding myself in that period of time (adolescent thing to do), and yeah I see her crying sometimes because I rejected her and I know it’s bad but I just don’t take action to it, I know it’s not the right thing from the start and I let my feelings for her that I don’t love her at myself only. After that I sense that my friends are being used by her, she started using my friends as a monitoring agent, but yes I feel bad but I accepted it from the inside and I never ever confess that, “are you being used by her?”, I didn’t ever bring it up on our conversations ever because it is a bad thing, and then the next year of school she’s my classmate, it’s the same thing again, using my friends and me being a prisoner, I’m reluctantly talk about what is going on, I hide it from myself because I thought it is just a thing, a simple thing, and then she started to use my friends as a blow up, when I had a crush in that school year I, I even started to take her a dance in our ball, but yes as I said she uses on of my friend as a blow up, she use it to take my crush out of me, she uses it to make my love/crush fall out to me. And the next school year she’s not my classmate, I’m glad that everything is fine, but as I remember all of my classmate is connected to him, I mean I think because of her social status she can do that and I think I’m a total prisoner, and few times I see her in my back while I’m waiting up in the queue for a ride to go home, it’s like she’s stalking me and I know I’m the one to blame to that, the next few years I thought it’s all gone that I didn’t do anything to end it but yes. up until now it’s happening even I transfer in my new school, my friends are like that and she’s stalking me too, I know that the idea of being love and being obsessed is a different thing, but being obsessed is being in love too, as what an obsessed person that I see in a comment of other website, “you are constantly in love but not the way it is used to be, and the person that you are obsessed with sometimes treat you as a mental ill person”, but one article says based on a research that lust is the root of obsession, when in early stage of love, lust is common but the one who can’t really let go of that feeling for a long time may suffer from obsession. I know this because I started researching about obsession for a year and I want to arrange everything and talk to her in a way that it gets fixed and clarified, but I want to care and to let her go with an ease an clarified mind because it’s been five years and she’s still obsessed with me, how should I start? help me guys please.

  13. I meet a guys we decided to give it a try recently and I realised I didn’t love him in as much as he is good and down to earth. I told him about my mix feeling and wanted out of the relationship. He is saying no he isn’t giving up on me and that he will do anything to have me . should I be worry

  14. I’m scared. I was friends with this guy for like two years. He had been trying to get me to go out with him, but I always said no. He doesn’t even care if I tell him I’m in a relationship, rather he says I can cheat. That people do it all the time. I finally cut him off. I moved to college and severed all ties. That was until a strange number called my cell. He started asking me out again. I kept telling him no. Now he’s sending death threats. I’m honestly scared. He said, and I quote “you’re going to make me kill myself and you at the same time”. I’m just 18. I can’t tell my parents. I’m too scared to. Any advice

  15. Hello my name is Jessica and I think I’m in a obsessed relationship I’ve been dating this dude for like 3 to 4 months he always tell me he’s in love with me he can’t leave me alone he would never leave me he accused me all the time of doing things I don’t do he accused me of cheating all the times there’s not a day that goes by he don’t pick a argument with me and it’s always over the craziest stuff he put his hands on me all the times because he say I’m always doing something he likes to follow me everywhere I go I never can get no space I always tell him I have no life he get mad when I add people on Facebook that he know it don’t get mad when I add the girls that when that add boys it’s a big problem he don’t even like me to go with my family or friends no where he always want my password to my phone he’s so controlling can someone please help me understand what do you call this please I can tell you so much more but that’s a whole story

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