Relationships can be really good for us, and bring out the best in us, but only if they are actually good relationships with the right people. This isn’t the case for everyone. You would be surprised to know that a great deal of people who are in relationships are miserable and looking for a way out because the relationship is anything but healthy. Many people are in relationships where they dread going home, and have to pretend that they are happy. It doesn’t have to be this way. The truth about finding love is, it’s not just about finding a person, it’s about being in a space that makes you feel safe, and happy.

If a relationship makes you feel bad about yourself, leaves you in fear or makes you hate your partner, chances are it isn’t healthy. Our goal should be to get into a relationship that is healthy, and to avoid at all costs anything that is far from that. But how do we know that we’re in an unhealthy relationship? What are the signs of a relationship that is actually healthy and happy? In this article, we discuss 3 signs that the relationship you’re in is good for you and brings out the best in you. Some relationships that are unhealthy can become healthy if the problems get solved.

You Respect Each Other’s Individuality

Many people make the mistake of thinking that being part of a couple means that you cannot be individuals in your own right, but it’s actually healthier for your connection to have your own interests. Sure, there are things you’re going to intersect on but that doesn’t mean your whole lives should revolve around each other. It’s okay to have your own interests, your own friends and your own hobbies. You can have activities you do as a couple, but there’s nothing wrong with having things you do differently. It makes things more interesting because you have things to talk about, and catch each other up on. Stoic relationships, a concept that has grown in popularity recently, is built on the idea that fully fleshed out human beings with their own identities make for strong partnerships. It’s about being two complete individuals who choose to share their lives. If you’re interested in learning more about stoic relationships or how to date applying stoic ideals, check out The Stoic Matchmaker.

You Both Understand That It Takes Work to Have a Happy Relationship

Some people believe that a happy relationship just happens, and that the pieces magically fall into place. Ask any happy couple and they will tell you that it takes work, compromise, communication and commitment to make it work. Things aren’t always easy, there are rough patches and disagreements, but at the end of the day, they focus on the big picture, the fact that they chose each other. When one or both people stop putting working into it, that’s when the problems start and when things begin to go downhill. Happy relationships take effort, and if you don’t put the effort in, the beautiful thing you have built will crumble.

You’re Not Insecure

Nothing destroys a relationship more than insecurities, on any side. Insecurity is problematic because it leads to so many other issues in a relationship. Insecurity can cause jealousy, possessiveness and in the worst cases, abuse. It leads to fights, arguments and tension. Insecurity does a lot of damage to trust, which usually spells the end of stability for a relationship. It can also lead to an unhealthy level of codependency which will just lead to more difficulty in the relationship. Signs of insecurity include being jealous without a reason, a need to control the other person, possessiveness and always seeking validation and reassurance. In healthy relationships, both partners are secure in themselves and trust their partners and so they never worry or fear that their partner is going to cheat on them.

You Respect Each Other

Respect is an underestimated value in relationships. It actually dictates a lot about how each partner is going to act. If you respect your partner, you would never insult them or call them names, you would never flirt with other people and even be caught texting other people inappropriately. If you have respect for your partner, you will also make sure you do what makes them happy, and avoid doing things that you know would hurt their feelings. Respect also means you care to do what’s best for not just your partner but the relationship as a whole.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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