You are sharing the joy of sexual intimacy. Instead of joy, it may bring gloom and sadness sooner than you think – unless you do it right: at the right time and in the proper condition.

So, you are in a relationship now with the man you love. And you are thinking about taking the next step to strengthen your relationship: by sharing the joy of sexual intimacy.

But is your relationship ready for that? Instead of strengthening it, premature involvement of sex in a relationship can worsen beautiful things.

Many break-ups and bitterness could be prevented if only both parties were willing to wait until they were really ready for that most intimate form of connection between two people.

Is it knowing that, then, when is the right time for sexual intimacy in a relationship? What are the signs that our relationship is not ready yet for sex?

Lack of emotional security

What is the motivation behind your plan to have sex with him? Do you want to make him feel bonded to you? More attached to you?

If it is, then you must realize that men don’t think about sex in the same way that women do. Sex can hardly make a man more attached to you, especially these days.

If you push it to him – and later he finds out – most possibly, he may feel that you have manipulated him, and you will find yourself at the bitter end of bad dumping.

Lack of deeper rapport

Sex can beautify your relationship, of course. In fact, no intimate relationship between two people can reach its fullest potential for happiness without the involvement of sexual intimacy.

But, yes, there is a “but” for that; in order for sex to function that way, there is something else that must be present before LOVE!

Love and lust are very different. You must learn and know the differences between them and apply that knowledge truthfully if you want to have the best things that this life can bring.

It may sound strange, but it is a hard fact that sex can intensify like as well as dislike between the two people involved, depending on which one presents more dominantly, the like or the dislike.

If your boyfriend dislikes you in one area, for example, lousy sex will make him dislike you even more. But the contrary won’t make him like you in that area.

Yes, even the most terrific sex you can give him will not change him from disliking into liking you. Only the presence of love can!

Indeed, by giving him that incredible sex, you may be able to make him stay around you. But to him, you will mean nothing more than a fancy toilet!

Lack of more profound knowledge about your partner

Do you know him enough? Do you know how he will act or react to certain circumstances? Do you know how he perceives things that you deem necessary and valuable?

Is he a guy who is more than willing to put himself first in another’s shoes before saying anything judgmental about them? Or is he just a childish guy who loves to boast about his sexual adventures to every living creature he finds on the road?

For your own sake, don’t put yourself in jeopardy by having sex with someone you hardly know.

Lack of knowledge about sex and sexuality

Do you know how and why you get your monthly period? Why and how has your body grown so that you look the way you are now? Do you know how a woman can get pregnant and how to have safe sex? Do you know about sexually transmitted diseases?

Unless you have ample knowledge about your body and your sexuality, then sexual intimacy is definitely not for you now!

Do you really need that sexual intimacy?

Want and need are not the same things. You might want sex as much as him because, regardless of what you have heard before, men and women have the same sex drive.

But do you need it? And even if you need it and want to do it, do you want to do it with him? Or is it because he asked/demanded it from you in a way that makes you feel guilty if you don’t fulfil it?

Uncomfortable feeling about having that sexual intimacy

If you do not feel comfortable having that intimate contact with your partner, then don’t do that.

You are a woman, a female. Unlike men, sex makes a woman vulnerable, at least emotionally, not to mention the other risks that follow, such as unexpected pregnancy, STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease), etc.


Sex is a risky business for females. It is you, as a woman, who will be burdened more when things go wrong.

Know this: sex outside wedlock will always complicate things. It will only bring you unnecessary burdens and pain.

Although this may sound funny and old-fashioned in today’s world of “modern ways”, this is true: it is always better not to have sex with your partner before marriage.

So girls, use sex intimacy right and find your happiness. Or misuse it, but don’t blame anybody else if you get your life messed up later!


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

1 Comment

  1. Scott Alan Reply

    I totally disagree with almost all of this article. Studies have shown that having sex the first date or having a some later part does not affect whether the relationship will end up in a lasting loving relationship. If the sex is great you can make up for deficiencies in other parts of the relationship. Not sure what age you are referring to but there are lotta people who don’t want empty and meaningless sex !

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