After the breakup, how did you feel? Did you feel worthless and unattractive? Did you feel ugly? Did you think you’re not a great partner to have? Did you feel like your partner wanted someone better than you? Brace yourself for the ugly truth, because chances are, everything you’ve been thinking is probably true. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, however. This should serve as your motivation to improve yourself socially, mentally, physically to find out how to get back with your ex. You need to take care of yourself in every aspect so that your ex-partner will eat every bad word he/she has ever said about you. This process is called REJUVENATION.

This step covers a lot of areas in your life, and will most probably take a long time to fulfill before you can even finally learn how to get back with your ex. There is even a big chance that you’ll forget whatever feelings you’ve had for your ex by the time you’re fully changed! So, in any scenario, it’s a win-win. We’ve already taught you how to let go of your past, and how to stay away from your ex-partner for a while, and now it has culminated to this: focusing entirely on yourself to improve on your strengths, eradicating most of your weaknesses and becoming a happier person in general.

Basically, this step is about reinventing and transforming yourself in order to have a bigger chance on how to get back with your ex. The logic behind this is simple: your ex-partner thought that the present version of yourself was not enough. Therefore, you must step up and change yourself for better, for good, and for always.

The fourth step, REJUVENATION, will cover four areas, specifically: Physical, Social, Mental, and Environmental. Let us tackle them now.


This is probably the most important change you should do to yourself in light of figuring out how to get back with your ex. Now I can be polite here and say that “Beauty is only skin-deep” and all those other cliché sentiments, but it’s time to face the hard reality that has spoiled your previous relationship: your partner probably doesn’t think you’re as attractive as you were before. If you think you haven’t had a change in attitude or lifestyle, then you best believe that the loss of attraction is an aesthetic one. Now, this doesn’t automatically mean you became uglier, this could also mean that your ex-partner has found someone prettier than you, or is frustrated with sticking into the relationship when he/she could’ve hooked up with someone more attractive. That’s just the reality of it.

So, whether you like it or not, you need to look prettier. You’re in the business of knowing how to get back with your ex; hence you have to intimidate him/her by looking better. You won’t be able to interest your ex if you do not undergo a visible, physical change. Beauty is overemphasized in society – that’s something you won’t be able to change. If you still don’t agree to the reasoning behind this step, just think of it like this: if you are to get back your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, you have to pull out all the stops.

You can first start by losing or bulking up in weight, whichever is required by your body. Join a gym, or if you don’t like paying, you can call up friends so that you can jog together on early mornings. Also, start eating healthy! As is the old adage, “You are what you eat.” If you eat healthy, it will definitely show physically. Your skin will glow; you will have improved senses and an increase in brainpower as well. You must also engage yourself in sports; particularly in ones that you have yet to learn. The learning curve will definitely take your mind off your immediate problems.

Another important aspect of improving yourself physically is in the face. A clean face is always a confident face, so you should do something with those unwanted pimples or acne marks. Cut your hair if it is needed, constantly clean your fingernails, and go to the dentist to check for your dental health.


Expanding your worldview is essential not only to the relationship you’re trying to pursue, but to yourself as well. Now that you have a lot of time on your hands, you might as well give more time to improve yourself on an intellectual level. This will make you more mature, more experienced and more understanding; basically you become more cultured as a person. And intelligence is a turn-on for most people; it’s bound to seduce your partner into wanting your back.

One of the easiest things you can do is stacking on a lot of books to read. I’m not talking about novels; I’m talking about books in philosophy or history, basically books you can get genuine knowledge from. You can also attend all sorts of classes (cooking classes, painting classes, photography lessons, music tutorials), or if you’re still a student, give more time unto becoming a particularly good student. The point here is that there is always a new thing to learn around the corner, so use your time to improve your mental faculties instead of moping and crying over a lost relationship.


As the social aspect of your life will be the most affected aspect after a breakup, this is the area you should strive to improve upon as fast as you can. Now that you’re living life as a single, available person, you should start acting like one. Before, you were always doing things with your partner – today, you are going to venture out on your own, improve relations with old friends, and start meeting new ones.

While this seems like something you should do just because it feels good to do so, it also serves another purpose: if your ex-partner can see that your social life is blooming even without him/her, it will be a source of insecurity and jealousy. It means that you’re capable of being happy without them. This erases all notions of desperation, clinginess, and loneliness in your life, thus making you more desirable.

Another thing you should improve upon socially is your social status. Now, I know this sounds very superficial but it will help you if you became more and more prominent and more sought after by a lot of people. You can do this through joining organizations or becoming promoted at work, or by helping lots of people, or just being visible at parties and events.

What happens, inadvertently, is this: your life will progress rapidly, while your ex-partner is left on a much lower social state. Your ex will have no other choice but to look up to you and gain you back. Making yourself more desirable is the primary aim if you are to know how to get back with your ex.


This transformation is more optional than necessary, depending on the gravity of the breakup you just had. If the breakup was really bad (for instance, if you’ve broken up with your boyfriend of 7 years) then I highly suggest for you to change your environment.

One thing you can do is change locations. You may move away to another city, or to another part of town, just so you can get away from it all. You may also like to change jobs if you’re co-workers with your ex. As I have mentioned earlier these are very extreme measures you can take for very extreme situations.

Having said that, there are some minor things you can do that doesn’t necessarily involve moving from one place to another. You just need to change some of the things around you that you’re able to change. For instance you can get rid of your ex-partner’s things that are lingering in your home. You can also change your social circle and avoid your ex-partner’s mutual friends. The main gist here is to remove everything in the environment that can contribute to your depression and sadness.


These four aspects in your life should definitely be improved upon before you can start reconnecting with your ex after you stay away from him/her for a while. The goal is to fully transform yourself so that when your ex sees you again after the REMOTION phase, he/she will witness a different person, a better, stronger, improved version of you. These set of changes will leave a very deep impression on your ex, he/she will wonder why they left you in the first place!

A word of caution, however: not every change can give positive results. You must carefully pick which parts of your life you should transform, or else, you’ll run the risk if forgetting who you really are for the sake of knowing how to get back with your ex partner. Just keep your feet on the ground, and be wise in deciding what to change in your life for the better.

I hope you have learned something very important on the importance of change in determining how to get back with your ex. The fifth step in this 6-part process is reacquiring your ex-partner’s affection and trust: RECONNECTION. Are you ready to truly reconnect with your ex partner? We can find that out as soon as you click on the next page…


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

1 Comment

  1. Clare Conway Reply

    I really like the holistic approach you’re suggesting here. There are no drawbacks to any of your suggestions, as even if you aren’t successful in winning back your ex, all of these things will improve your life anyway! The strange thing is, it can be easy to lose sight of ourselves once we enter into a relationship, and this can be the very thing which makes your partner feel you’re no longer suited. I like that this article is about how to be you again, which is possibly the best way to get your ex back.

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