It is needless to say that our 6-step methodology doesn’t promise a foolproof, one-shot formula to luring your ex-partner back into your arms, but I’ll say it anyway. This should serve more as your guide, something to make your perceptions and principles clearer before you delve into connecting with your ex. So far I have taught you the importance of accepting the relationship, the process of easing the depression brought about by the breakup, the power of absence to arouse your ex’s curiosity, and the necessity to reinvent and transform yourself to increase the chances of being noticed by your ex. The time frame for these steps varies from person to person, but I give it at least a month before you can emerge as a better version of you, ready to reignite your ex-partner’s interests again.

On the fifth step of this series, I’m going to teach you how to commence RECONNECTION with your ex. Now, this is the phase where everyone gets it all wrong – and with good reason. You’ve been prepping up for a long time for this phase, and now is the moment of truth. What are the things you should do when reconnecting? How should you do the first contact? How often must you reconnect with your ex initially? What should you avoid upon reconnecting with a partner? These will all be answered below.


The very important value to possess in figuring out how to get an ex back is patience. It doesn’t matter how long you’ll have to wait. You need to accept the fact that you may be on different planes of thought regarding the relationship at hand – you want to know how to get an ex back badly, your ex may think otherwise. The key to reconnecting is not just being able to sit and talk over dinner and have a few laughs; that’s just the superficial aspect of it. It’s about “synchronizing” each other’s priorities and feelings. What does that mean? It means that you’ll have only achieved reconnection IF your ex-partner wants you back as well. And trust me, it will take a VERY LONG TIME.

So don’t rush it out. Take as much time as you can, and don’t force your ex into doing things he/she isn’t comfortable of doing, or else you’ll run the chance of losing your ex permanently.


There is no short answer to this question, because there are a lot of factors to consider. Needless to say, it would be better if your ex-partner commenced contact with you first – this action will indicate that he/she has expressed an initial interest in you again, which will make things easier for you as your plan unfolds. But you can’t just sit there forever waiting for your ex’s call, right? He/she may have forgotten about you for good. So, if your ex has never tried to make contact, it’s time you take matters into your own hands.

If after a month your ex still hasn’t tried contact you in any way, try calling him/her. And yes, calling your ex-partner is the only acceptable way to commence first contact, not chatting him over at Facebook or emailing her a short message. Emails and text messages and chats are convenient and clearer, but they won’t be able to convey the tone by which you’ll be saying your words.


If you are able to, try talking to your ex-partner through voice mail at first. Why is that? Well, voice mails possess the convenience of the text message and the sincerity of a voice call: you don’t need to confront your ex-partner at that very moment, and yet he/she will be able to hear your voice. So, if it is possible, then set up a voicemail for your ex. We’ve discovered this is the best way to know how to get an ex back.


So, what do you say in these situations, months after you’ve avoided your ex-partner at great lengths? What do you say in initial contact? The answer is quite simple, and here is a sample text you can base your own speech from:

“Hello, this is Amy. I just wanted to know how you’re doing; I hope you’re doing great. Just call me back if you have nothing to do.”

That’s it! No crazy antics, no desperate pleas, no date setups, just asking your ex how he or she is doing right now. Doing that achieves two things: first, it will look as if you’ve stopped thinking about your ex for a while and then suddenly just remembered him/her, making your call a very confident and less desperate one. Second, your ex will have no other choice but to call you back because you didn’t impose anything! You weren’t being threatening or needy or desperate, you were being friendly and thoughtful in doing so, with seemingly no hidden agenda. Once your ex calls you back and sets up a date for the both of you to catch up on each other’s lives, you know you’ve achieved your goal.

“What if my ex doesn’t call me back?” Then you have no other choice but to employ the “Accidental Meeting” technique. If you know where your ex’s whereabouts are on weekends, just casually go there and “accidentally” bump over your ex. Believe it or not this is a very believable scenario and your ex will be more than pleased to see you after a month or so of not seeing each other.


I can’t begin to stress how important the initial reconnection will be. It will set the mood for the succeeding days, and it will definitely determine if you can pull off how to get an ex back. So, you have to pull out all the stops. This is the primary purpose of the REJUVENATION stage; to prep you up in a manner that will blow your ex’s brains out. There should be a shock value to the changes you made to yourself that when your ex sees you for the first time in a long time, he or she will be able to notice it and will become enthralled by you.

So what should you do on the first day? Well, obviously you need to wear your best attire: DON’T wear something your ex bought for you because it will reek of desperation rather than sentimentality. DON’T put on excess makeup as well; make it casual yet startlingly appealing. Also, your best attire doesn’t necessarily mean your most garish attire: for women, a white shirt and a pair of jeans will usually do, but that would still depend on the occasion. For men, however, a t-shirt won’t be enough to pull it off. Semi-casual attire would signal importance and professionalism, and women are suckers for men of importance.


After you sit down and order something to eat, it’s show time. If there is anything YOU SHOULD NEVER ever try to do here, it is MENTIONING YOUR INTENTION of getting back with your ex. It’s just a bad idea; it will pressure your ex-partner and will turn what was supposed to be a simple afternoon reunion into a couple’s affair. Just have fun, mention everything you’ve been doing after the breakup occurred, and ask how your ex is doing as well. As I’ve mentioned early on in this newsletter, the key is patience. Just let the conversations take their course without pressuring your ex-partner.

Now, after you’re done conversing and sharing stories, and are almost about to go home, should you ask your ex-partner to set up a second date? Of course not, in the spirit of being patient and waiting for your ex to make the next move. You must make him/her feel that you are not negotiating for anything. Your ex must be the one to reach out to you. And trust me, your ex will reach out, just as long as you don’t pressure him/her, and as long as you are able to conceal your longing of wanting to be in the relationship once more. Just be patient, you’ll be able to tell your ex-partner everything… In time.

On the next page we will tackle the final step of the 6-Rs on how to get an ex back: the RESOLUTION. How do you exactly propose to your ex-partner your intention of getting back with them? What are the ways to finally discover how to get an ex back? How will you be able to sustain the regained relationship for a longer period of time? This will all be revealed to you after you click the link below… Don’t wait!


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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  1. What if you are on a long distance breakup? And what to do if your ex resents you?

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