So you feel that you met “The One.” Or maybe you are just not ready to move on. Either way, she left you, and you are a huge mess, wondering how to win her back, trying your best not to cry yourself to sleep that night.

Cheer up, man – there is actually a technique for how to win your ex back.

If you really believe that she is worth it, there are techniques to getting your ex back that have been proven to work, and we will discuss them all here. Because no matter how different you think your girlfriend is, she is still a woman – and women are slaves to their biology just like you are.

The secret to getting your ex back is based in an extremely powerful technique known as push pull. Getting your ex back starts by forgetting everything that romantic comedies teaches you about how to get your ex girlfriend back. If you want to know how to win your ex back, start with destroying all notions that you will get her back by acting like more of a girl (emotional wreck) than she is.

How to get your ex girlfriend back starts off by detaching yourself from the situation more than she is. You can bet that women do not leave a relationship until they have properly prepared themselves emotionally. This is why crying and begging do not work with women once they have decided to sever a relationship. As a matter of fact, that is probably what made her dump you in the first place – acting like more of a girl than she is.

So the first step and how to win her back means winning back your own “cool.” If you are reading this article “in time,” meaning that she just lately sent gave you the breakup, stop and pause for a minute before you respond.

Make it a note not to argue with her. Your response should show detachment. “Okay,” “I totally agree,” or “sweet,” are all masterful examples of what you should say back.

Now you might be thinking that these are the biggest a-hole responses ever. You’re darn right, and that’s exactly what you’re going for. This is the “push.”

Even if you weren’t able to catch yourself “in time,” you can use the same technique. Your first action in how to win her back must be a “push” to create some distance – more distance than she is ready to take on. Make her feel completely alone in her emotional whirlwind.

Push Pull MethodOnce you let her stew in this for a while, she will be wondering why you did not have the emotional response that she was hoping for. That is, if you are crying and begging, this gives her more ammo to justify her decision. After all, you aren’t quite acting like a man right now, are you?

But if you go back to being James Bond, she has to second-guess her decision. Another great thing to do at this stage, because she will be checking, is to put up pictures of you having fun with other girls on your Facebook.

After this push, the next step and how to get your ex girlfriend back is to pull her closer, but not in the way you might think.

If you give her a romantic advance right off the bat, she will see right through it and give you more resistance. Pull her back to you as a friend to keep her confused. Your next interaction with her should be you inviting her out as a friend with mutual acquaintances, or on a completely platonic outing to “cement a friendship.” Make it seem like it was your idea.

She will come, because she will want to see how you got over her so quickly. She will be insecure because of this. She will be questioning her feminine power. She will try to get you to beg for her again in order to validate her feminine ego.

However, how to win your ex back is to pull her back to you like a big brother would pull in a big sister. As you are walking in the park, grab her around the shoulder like you would your basketball friend. Give a big laugh about something that has nothing to do with her, to show her that her breakup is not affecting you at all.

Rinse and repeat. The goal is to get her to break before you. She will do this by opening herself up sexually. Once you seduce her again, she will be back in a relationship with you in no time.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.


  1. Could this technique work for men as well as women? I am a straight woman but these tips seem really helpful. I would love it if it was useful for me, too. Thanks! Great post.

  2. good example maam
    can u plz send me some more ideas to get my ex girl friend back

  3. Bruce Dudenbostel Reply

    we got back together and i messed up by being to clingy and i smothered her now she as shut me out yes i tried to tell her i was sorry for smothering her she forgave me but now does want me to text her or she doesn’t want to talk to me i have been doing a lot of soul searching about why i was so clingy in our relationship and she said there is very little doubt we can work things out i love her and still want to spend the rest of my life with her i am thinking about. going to. therapy about be clingy and i want to change that about me if we aren’t talking or seeing each other i will she know i am trying to change and is there still a chance we will get back together

  4. Souvik Ghosh Dastidar Reply

    Totally agree. I was not very much into relationships becoz of work pressure. But when I got someone she used to pull me once, push me once … But when I did what is depicted here … It worked. But why humans are like this including myself … I simply don’t understand.

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