“I want my girlfriend back and I will get her back,” you might tell yourself with absolute confidence. It’s been some time since she left you and now, you are absolutely ready to contact her and get her to love you again.

Question: How do you do it?

Well, an apology is the obvious first step. Obviously, you should also avoid repeating the mistakes of the past. Perhaps, you can get her a gift or set up a date, as a sort of peace offering. I’m sure that these things have gone through your mind before, but the truth is that it’s going to take a lot more than that to get your girl back.

The breakup did not come out of the blue. It was a slow and hurtful process that you failed to correct. So, if you are to answer the question of “How do I get my girlfriend back?” then you will have to correct it as a process. The question at this point is how? What kind of process will you have to use to get your girl to love you again?

Well, that’s easy. What kind of process did you use to get your girl to love you in the first place?

Most people will answer, love, dating, romance, fancy gifts, sex, etc… Well, all of these are true and this is exactly what you have to do in order to win you girl back or in other words, starting over from scratch. However, you also have to remember that after the breakup, things will never be the same for a long, long time. Some things may probably have been said. Your feelings may probably have been hurt. Or more likely, there are lingering feelings of resentment between you and your girlfriend.

On the one hand, you also have to start over but on the other hand, the past never really goes away. Don’t pretend that the situation is not the tricky thing that it is because it is. While dating your ex, you should not bring up or repeat the past. After all, you’re trying to rid yourself of the past’s mistakes. However, you should also keep in mind that your ex girlfriend knows you. Even if she has forgiven or is genuinely committed to giving you a second chance, she still remembers the breakup just as well as you do.

Another thing that you should be careful with is the fact that she may still have lingering feelings of resentment in her somewhere. You know how some men would say, “I want my girlfriend back but I also want to strangle her?” These repressed feelings are also inside angry women. So if you are sure that she has some repressed anger towards you, it’s best to draw them out early. You wouldn’t want these feelings to explode later on when you least suspect them.

You should also keep in mind that your ex knows you. She knows whether or not you keep your promises. She knows how much romance you are willing to give or put up with. And, she also knows your plans and habits. In short, she can to some degree predict what you are going to do and what you are planning.

Now, the question is what are you going to do about it? A good answer would be to surprise her with a new you. A few surprises and a new persona – so to speak – can do wonders in fixing her low estimation of you. Not only that but you will be able to bring back that magic that your relationship used to have back when you were still dating.

But don’t change too much. People like the familiar and you should show her that you are still the same guy she fell in love with, minus the bad parts which caused the breakup. If you can do that, you will be able to entice her back into loving you.

You should be patient in doing this though. Remember that it’s going to take more than one date to make her love you again, and so you should resign yourself for the long haul. The process of salvaging a relationship varies from person to person, but what matters is that you have the right attitude for the job. If you can do that, you will no longer have to cry out, “I want my girlfriend back.”


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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