The term “Oneitis” applies to a person who is fascinated with someone else to an unhealthy degree. While this might seem romantic by Hollywood and classic literature standards, there are many pitfalls to keep in mind. It is essential to recognize this before it becomes a real problem. There are many severe consequences of this when it is left untreated. The sooner you do something about this, the better off you will be as a whole.

You Become Less Productive
Many people who become obsessed with someone romantically also suffer from becoming unproductive. When your mind and energy are all going towards one person, there is no way for you to be genuinely productive on a daily basis. Some people with severe cases of oneitis even lose their jobs because of their infatuation. This is just one of the reasons why it is so crucial for you to maintain perspective when you really like or love someone.

Neediness is NOT Attractive
Oneitis inevitably produces obvious signs of neediness, which is never attractive. It often leads to desperate behaviour, such as texting over and over. At this point, you are just being annoying and not endearing like you might think. The needier you are, the less likely you are to maintain a serious relationship. Whether you are trying to get a certain person or you are already with them, this is never a good thing.

Poor Decision Making
Those who become hopelessly obsessed with someone else always begin making poor decisions of all kinds. This will only serve to drive a wedge between you and the person of your dreams. It can come in all different forms, none of which are ever good. Your obsession leads to reckless choices that you are bound to regret at some point.

Losing Your Sense of Self
Another major pitfall of succumbing to oneitis is that you quickly lose your entire sense of self. It is crucial for anyone who is in a relationship or just pining for someone to keep themselves intact. This means continuing to do the things you usually would, like enjoying your hobbies and everything else. Those who sacrifice their sense of self find themselves lost when their Relationship ends.

You Alienate Your Friends
It is also fairly common for those who suffer from this tragic condition to completely alienate their friends. Sometimes, it just starts with cancelling plans here and there, but eventually, it escalates into complete isolation. Obsessing over a single person usually means putting everyone else on the back burner, which always causes trouble. This can cause a lot of strain on your other relationships, including your family. If you want to keep all of your relationships with the people in your life intact, you need to remember this. It would help if you tried to balance this aspect of your life as best you can.

Failure to See Their Flaws
When you are obsessively and madly infatuated with someone, you aren’t going to see their flaws. While nobody is perfect, some people are more flawed than others. You need to reason and keep a clear head so you can watch out for red flags. This will allow you to find out if the person is really a good choice for you. There is no possible way that you’ll be able to do this if you are constantly thinking about how perfect they are. You must maintain a realistic view of the person, as brutal as this might be. The last thing you want to do is just look at them through “love goggles” all the time because you won’t see straight.

You Assume They Are Always Right
People who are obsessed with their romantic partner just assume they are always right, even when that is not the case. You need to be able to see when they are in the wrong so you can point it out. This is not about playing the blame game but instead getting things sorted out rationally if you are never able to see when your partner missteps in the Relationship, you’ll never be able to deal with the issues that arise correctly.

Your Mood is Dependent on the Relationship
Part of the reason that oneitis is so unhealthy is because your overall mood is constantly tied to your Relationship. If your Relationship takes even the slightest dip, your mood will most likely suffer tremendously. It usually doesn’t take much for this to happen, especially when your partner behaves in a way you don’t like. An unstable and constantly shifting mood is definitely not healthy for any person. It would help if you had a sense of stability to maintain a healthy relationship, but being obsessed with your partner makes this impossible.

Trouble Settling Down
If you want to settle down with someone special, eventually, you can’t let yourself become obsessed. This instantly kills your chances of sustaining a healthy long-term relationship. The fact is that you will only be able to make it with someone for the long haul if you are thinking with a clear head. You need to see the person as they actually are instead of who you want them to be. As long as you let your oneitis go untreated, you’ll never be able to really settle down with anyone.

Lack of Self-Esteem
Allowing yourself to stay obsessed over anyone, in particular, will only leave you feeling weak and powerless. This isn’t very pleasant for your self-esteem. If you want to have a healthy romantic relationship and overall life, you need to be able to feel good about yourself. This means making the difficult decision to start thinking clearly. While it might be uncomfortable at first, it is nonetheless essential. You will never be able to maintain a solid relationship as long as you have trouble looking at yourself in the mirror because you feel like such a weak person.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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