“What is needy men? What do you mean by needy?” you may ask. Well, read on. I’ll explain it below. If you find yourself behaved like what will be described there, then you were being needy.

You may or may not realize it, but needy attitude in a man – instead of making a woman feel flattered or wanted – will only make him seemed desperate and vulnerable.

Do you know that women naturally attracted to strong men? Not necessarily physically – although we must admit that physical appearance and strength may play significant roles in the initial phase – but also (and primarily) in the sense of mental and personality. So, if you want to attract the woman you dream of, being needy is the one of the worst things you can do.

But before you continue reading this, you may want to know what women say about needy men. Read it, you will quickly get the idea why they are not fond of needy guys.

So, how should we behave in order to avoid that dreading needy guy brand? what are the signs of needy and clingy men? Let’s find out.

  • Showing no leading quality
  • Lack of confidence
  • Insecurity
  • Nervousness
  • Too available
  • Being a too good listener
  • Bootlicker
  • Too controlling
  • Acting desperate
  • Never argue
  • Too pushy
  • Opening yourself too early
  • Too attached

Showing no Leading Quality

Needy men hardly show leadership quality. To fix it, there is no other way: you must be willing to lead! Women naturally attracted to men who have leading qualities.
Feminists may say anything they want, but facts show that most women still prefer to be lead instead of leading in their relationships with men. No wonder, it is a built-in instinct in women!

Male and female have their own roles. While male’s primary roles are to provide and protect (thus, to lead), female primary roles are to care and nurture. So instinctively, women prefers strong men. And that strength can be shown through how the man leads.

So, don’t always let your next-to-be girlfriend to decide what you both will do or where to go for dates. It is your job. Show that you can lead, and you will find how she likes you better because of it – and will never see you as one of those pitiful needy men.

I know that many of you who do that (always letting your girlfriend to decide/choose), do so based on an honorable intention: to show your respect to the girl’s wishes, to show her that you value her as an equal partner.

But the problem is, by always doing that, she may perceive you as a weak man, a needy man, not a man that she can rely on. Every woman wants a man that can protect and lead her when trouble comes. That ingrained in her, in every female human being.

If you always seek her approval for almost anything, soon she will no longer see you as a potential man for mate. You are then will be put in the friend-zone only: okay for a friend, but not for more than that. Consider reading what women say about needy men article to understand more about this.

Lack of Confidence

The way needy men behave hardly shows self-confidence. A man may have very strong confidence in himself, but if the way he presents himself to a certain lady hardly shows it, she may have the wrong impression about him.

Along with leading quality, confidence is a must for successful approach to women. Without confidence, virtually no woman will deem you worth second look. And without confidence you will not be able to show good leading quality. Actually, your confidence reflected in the way you lead.

Strong confidence as well as decisiveness that implies strong leadership are very attractive to women. At the other hand, the absence of these qualities will quickly turn them off.

Truly needy men are men with little or lack of confidence. Their neediness rooted in their fear rejection and low self-esteem. If this is your real problem, then you must work it out: improve yourself capacity and build your self-confidence and self-esteem.


Insecurity and lack of confidence are like codependent twins. Where there is insecurity, there must be lack confidence behind it and where there is lack of confidence, insecurity is always there, too.

Insecurities will make the one who suffers it become over-jealous or very possessive, or both. It can also makes you feel the need to always know what your partner doing. It will then make you behave annoyingly by calling or texting her numerous times a day. Repeated calling and texting are the very obvious signs of needy men.


It is common that when a man deeply attracted to a woman, he will feel nervous when he is around that woman or when he is talking with her. Although this is commonly found among men as well as among women, to men nervousness can do more damage to his chances in approaching women.

Why? Not only because the nervousness can and will make him too scared to approach her, but also because it may make the girl think of him as having no or very little confidence – or even needy, clingy, et cetera – in short, “not man enough” to be considered as a potential romantic partner.

But actually, this nervousness will not be a big problem if the girl also shares the same feeling. Why? Because she’ll be too busy to deal with her own nervousness to notice yours. If this is the case, then your biggest problem is only on how to assemble your courage to approach her and make her know what you feel for her.

So, how to deal with this nervousness and avoid the dreaded needy men stigma? Well, you have to find out yourself the ways that work best for you. For me, I tried to think, to tell myself that she was not a goddess, that she was just an ordinary girl, just like my other female friends. It worked fairly well to me smile emo.

Too Available

Do you have hard times to say no to the girl you like if she asks you to, for example, accompany her shopping? Even when actually you have something else to do that you have planned weeks or months before?

If yes, then stop that! It will only make her perceive you as a guy that has no life: one of those needy men who always needs somebody else to make his life more meaningful.

At first she might be happy or feel flattered for having someone that she knows will always be there for her. But soon she will not regard it special anymore (that’s humane, don’t you think so?). She will take it for granted instead thinking as if she deserved it and it was your duty to serve her whenever she wanted.

It’s not that you have to refuse her every time she asks, but get balanced. Don’t say yes if you really think you can’t (or you don’t want to, whatever) or if you have planned something else to do that you deem more important.

By not always yield to her requests, indirectly you show her that you have a life, an interesting life that you value, and you don’t need anybody else to make it worthwhile. She will see that you are not one of those lifeless needy men and may want to be part of your life.

By being independent like that, it will also give you an aura of mystery. That aura, if you can play it right, will make her more curious about you or even chase you. Just like you, women love challenges, too. So, make her curious and give her a little challenge!

Being A Too Good Listener

By being a too good listener, you will make yourself too available, too, for her. But instead of doing everything she wants, now you are always available to listen to everything she has to say, anytime she wants.

By acting this way, you make yourself a too nice guy, not challenging and too easy to get. Some girls will only deem you like spare tires. Some others see it as signs of needy men: too scarily nice and not real. And the rest? You might find that they qualify you only as their best buddy, or an “adopted brother” as best.

Well, you must decide for yourself. What do you want of her? Do you want to be her brother, or lover?


Needy men do everything they can think to please the woman they want: bringing her flowers on each date, buying her expensive gifts, et cetera. No, it’s not wrong doing nice things for women, but as everything else, don’t do that overly. Do that only if she deserves it.

Some men let a woman walk all over them, too afraid to show their disapprovals. You must stand up for yourself and she’ll respect you more. Letting a woman walk all over you is a clear sign to her that you are weak. And that kind of weakness is the characteristic that women despise the most in needy men.

Trust me, doing this will only make her losing her interests in you quicker because you are no longer a challenge to her, too easy and too predictable. Needy men do just like this. Read this article on why nice guys always finish last for more in-depth explanation.

Too Controlling

You always want to know where she is and what she is doing at all times. Unless you already have a real relationship with her (and she loves you enough to allow you doing that), you may scare her to death if you do this. She will perceive you as a too possessive and controlling. This also shows your insecurity, showing her a clear sign that you are a member of needy men club.

Acting desperate

You called her but she did not call back. Then you were wondering whether she received your message or not and start calling her again or texting her. Desperation is a clear sign of needy men.

This will only shows your insecurity to her clearly and soon she will see you just the way you are: as one of those tiring needy men. Unless your call is very important, don’t repeatedly call or text her. If you push her like this, you may ended with her running fast off of you.

Never Argue

You always agree to her, anything she says or does. Women are turned off to men that they feel they can completely control. Men like that are just not interesting to them. So, don’t be afraid to argue, but just don’t do it overly. She won’t like to have situations where she must defend herself every time either.

Too Pushy

You dated a girl once and then you start texting or calling her more and more. If you do this, then stop! You will be annoying to her if you continue doing that.

Opening Yourself Too Early

You dated a girl several times and then you started to share everything about you. No, it is not wrong to share things about you, but you’d better wait until you and her in a deeper relationship.

Then and only then will she appreciate your willingness to share your feelings with her. Doing that before the right time will only make her see you as one of the big needy men crowd out there.

Too Attached

You always want to be with her wherever she went. This is not good. This shows your insecurity as if you don’t trust her. She might be enjoying your presence so much but she is still a person who needs her friends and personal life. Give her personal space and you will get her respect so much more because of it.


Okay, in short, needy men are those who will do anything that their woman want. I know many of you always do that because you think it will please her. But in fact, you’ll only turn her off or even make her run away from you.

By doing that, you are not acting naturally and she will immediately sense it and see you as fake, a characterless and needy man. Remember, women are ten times better than us men in reading body language and such signals.

So, what is the best way to approach the woman we like? By having confidence and by being yourself. No need to change your plans to suit them with her. No need to sacrifice your social life in order to get close to her.

Let her see the best of your true character instead. Show her that you have an interesting life and she will appreciate you more. She will see you as a genuine and confident man. In turn, this will make her more attracted to you.

Showing the best of you and be confident in yourself is the best way to attract women. But being needy and act like needy men will surely ruin your chances to get close to the woman of your dream. So, free yourself from that bad habit immediately and find out soon how more women attracted to you and want to know you more!


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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