Writing a love letter to the woman you love can be a daunting task and is something that most men avoid these days. But then that is all the more reason to do it given your lady will love you all the more for it and you will show yourself to have virtues that most other men neglect.

As such writing love letters for her eyes only will not only enhance your relationship but give you the ability to say things which you sometimes have trouble saying out loud. So use this step by step guide and give your lady a surprise she will never forget.

Love Letters For Her 101

Step 1: Opening salutation
So how does a guy begin a love letter to his lady? Clearly you should avoid a plain “Dear Jane” salutation, rather you want to start with something distinctive and memorable like a personal salutation, something that is meaningful to the both of you and expressive at the same time.

The use of a pet name or a nickname is a good option as is a special phrase or saying that you identify with her. For example, To the love of my life/my best friend/my soulmate/girl who has always made me smile, etc.

The very first words are the place to start being creative and to let your love guide your words so think carefully about what is going to make her smile.

Step 2: Introduction
Next, express to your lady just how much you love her and the depth of your affections. This is the attention grabbing first paragraph, so you are free to be as creative and heartfelt as you desire. Explain what has prompted you to write the letter and mention your current surroundings.

For example, perhaps a recent event has made you to stock of your life and realize she is the only one for you, that it is 3am in the morning and how you cannot sleep because you are thinking of her and all the things you want to say.

Alternatively, maybe you feel you’ve been taking her for granted and want to remedy the situation so you are writing the letter from your hotel room whilst you’re away at yet another boring conference and missing her like mad.

Remember that you can always edit your letter and rewrite it in a finished version by hand later, even if you initially compose the letter on a computer (you weren’t really thinking of printing it out and signing it, were you?).

Step 3: Your setting
With that in mind, think of this first section as a brainstorm (or should that be heartstorm?) where you let it all out and go with the flow. This can be very cathartic so just let your stream of consciousness flow and see where it leads you. You can come back and reword, rephrase, and make it more concise at a later stage, but for the first pass, don’t hold back.

A great way to begin is to tell the story of how you met, what you felt, how you loved her from the first, and how your love has grown and continues to grow. By the time it is polished and complete, this first section should have convinced her that the depth and seriousness of your love for her is not open to debate.

Step 4: Explain why you love her
The next section of your love letter is the place for the whys – tell her in no uncertain terms the reasons you love her so. Is it her kindness, generosity of spirit, the way she smiles or the way she laughs? Is she a hard worker, an inspiration and a role model? Or is there something unique about her that only you notice? If so tell her in great detail of why the combinations of these things make you the luckiest man in the world.

Now whilst your love letter may not end up being great literature it will be personal and from the heart and that’s what counts. Only you know her as well as you do and only you can express all the reasons why you love her so.

Start with the little things, the details that come to mind when you think of her, the anecdotes from shared moments you’ve experienced together and how they made you feel. Move on to the bigger reasons, the serious moonlight stuff that all women love to hear.

You can exaggerate a little but keep in mind you want this to be believable and it needs to be heartfelt. The objective here is to reinforce the idea that you love her with all your heart and want to be with her always.

Step 5: Final impressions count
If you have a specific idea in mind as a finale, now is the time to use it. Maybe you want to suggest a cruise, a romantic getaway, or a special dinner date. That’s OK – but don’t use the love letter as a way to get out of a face to face talk that you are avoiding – like a proposal of marriage or a suggestion you move in together.

Save such moments for a personal encounter when you can touch her and look into her eyes. She’ll appreciate your candor and courage and you’ll feel better about your future together.

Step 6: Signing off
The sign off is just as important as the salutation, since it leaves THE final impression from your love letter. Again, use something personal but heartfelt, and make it short and sweet. If your creativity has run its course at this point, just say what you feel and the strength of the sentiment will come across.

“Yours truly” should be avoided as you can probably come up with something simple but more unique than that. So think along the lines of “Yours always, your loving husband” or “I love you today more than I ever have, Simon”.

A perfect finish to a great love letter!


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

1 Comment

  1. I was having huge problems in thinking up the right words to write my girlfriend and your guide was very helpful, Anna. I’ve been traveling because of my job for the past 2 months so I miss her dearly and just wanted to write her a good, old-fashioned letter because I know she loves them so much. I send her text messages all the time but when she will get a letter in the mail she will flip out! So few people write letter anymore…

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