In my opinion, there is no such thing as total incompatibility between two lovers. After all, you two did get together for a while, so there should be some level of affinity. The secret on how to win back your ex is determining how you can increase such compatibility. It’s a combination of proper mindset, compromise, and acceptance of differences. Because really, no two human beings are ever the same and relationships are formed by going past the multitudes of differences two people can have.

There are three aspects of compatibility that you should work on, and you need to be able to figure out how you can synchronize with your ex in these respects. These are sexual compatibility, compatibility of belief systems, and lifestyle compatibility. Read further below to know the different types of compatibility problems and how you can overcome them to know how to win back your ex.

1) Sexual Compatibility
This is the area where most couples have very grave incompatibility issues. Sex is a great part in any relationship and if you are not on the same level or sphere of sexual preference, tension will inevitably arise. If this may have lead to your own breakup, consider the following:

  • How much sexual activity does your ex prefer? Does he/she like sex at all?
  • What activities did your ex like sexually? What did you like sexually?
  • Were you open to each other about sex?
  • Were you sexually experienced? Did you satisfy your ex sexually?

How to Win Back Your Ex: Answering all these questions will help you determine where your past relationship was on the sexual level. I honestly cannot offer you any advice on how to show your ex that you’re going to improve your sexual compatibility, but if you believe that this problem impacted your relationship the most and if this primarily caused the breakup, you should be able to discuss this with your ex immediately.

2) Belief Compatibility
People have different belief systems, and couples often find it a challenge to assimilate their ideas and opinions with each other. If you had consistent arguments with your ex because of different takes on various issues, then it’s possible that you were incompatible in this respect and this may have greatly contributed to the breakup.

If this is your problem, and you’re on the quest of figuring out how to win your ex back, I urge you to just accept whatever your partner believes and respect them for what they are. After all, if it is fundamentally impossible for you to accept your ex’s views, then maybe you’re not meant to be with your ex in the first place. The main idea is to compromise and as much as possible refrain from discussing topics where you have differing views.

How to Win Back Your Ex: Communication is still the best strategy to solve any problems arising from differences in beliefs. Talk to your ex about this problem and say that you’re willing to compromise and respect his/her ideas just so your relationship can work.

3) Lifestyle Compatibility
Maybe she’s a party-goer and you’re not. Maybe you’d like to spend on lavish things and he’s more of a saver than spender. Maybe you’re a stay-at-home girl and she’d like to go out on adventures regularly. These are all-too-common conflicts in lifestyle that can make or break the relationship.

Again, because we’re talking about incompatibility here, the secret is to compromise. From time to time, do what your partner likes to do, so he/she would also do what you prefer doing. Also, strive to find activities or hobbies that both of you can do together, to reduce the chance of conflict and to better synchronize your schedule. You can go to the gym together, or find a good sport which both of you can participate on.

How to Win Back Your Ex: Tell your ex that you’re willing to work things out and that you’d like to be a part of their active life. Emphasize your willingness to participate on a lot of things you normally didn’t do as a couple in the past.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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