Good morning everyone,
My situation is this. I broke up with a girl in high school, she went to College, I joined the Marines. We spoke casually throughout our time away from each other but as friends. When I got out of the Marines we reconnected through a mutual friend and at the start I had no intention of dating her. Eventually we wound up getting together and this turned into a 3 year relationship. I did not realize that I had anger management problems, and did a good job of hiding them. I eventually moved to a new city to be with her as she pursued a new degree. I landed a dead end job, was denied my dream job, and she influenced my decision to go to college. I took hold of my ego and felt that "I" was no longer myself. We moved in together and I distanced myself from her, starting to sleep in the guest bed. I began to blame her for my unhappiness because I felt like I was living her life. I wound up breaking up with her one night, saying some of the most devastating things, "I do not want to marry you," "I do not enjoy living with you," "this relationship was heading towards divorce." She responded with, "you will come to realize this as a mistake and there is no hope for us in the future." We rode the lease out together for 4 months or so and been separate for close to two months. During these 6 moths I have been going to therapy, practicing Vipassana meditation, and put on medication for sleep/depression. Needless to say there is a large feeling of remorse and guilt, and I have come to realize that I was treating her in the same manner that my dad treats my mom. I am making an honest effort to not become that man, and I did not know how I might approach this relationship again. Even if it were to simply apologize for treating her in a manner that she did not deserve.