Break up, to then get back

TipToeTheStone
edited March 28 in Break Ups & Getting Back
I met a girl. A 'crush' ofc... I considered her 'the girl' for her heart of gold, and it is sooo desirable to me, to see a girl having this nurturing side, plus self love to her, which she expresses confidently. 

Now i suffer from a disease called morbus crohn. I lost 20 kg in weight. Thing is i have high functioning autism, which means i get that my object distinctification doesn't work the way of a 'normal' person.
Now the point is, because of this autism block and me lose 20 kg weight made be insanely weird.

I had gotten to the point of making her very attracted to me, but to never act up to it, because my crohns started fucking me over. I met her a last time, winking with a millitary salute while on the bike, thinking that to act stupid, would prolly be best, because i at the time had no other way or idea of how to explain to her what was going down with me.

It took me a solid 3 years to get back my weight + my normality.
Thing is, i lacked so much mental energy that, i didn't function normally and i just knew logically, that i wannet to spare her of it.
My mistake is i never said anything to her. I contacted her a few times varied over 6 months lately, after 'now what has almost lasted 3 years' explaining my stance back then, that i was sorry and so forth.
She gives me the cold shoulder and i pretty much know exactly why that is.
I thought about going out of my comfort zone and try something new, that i weren't comfortable with, but i knew it would have her reacting.
Now the distance btw me and the girl is like 50 km, so i went to her place, where she lives with her family with flowers and chocolate and explain my stance back then - because i dont like apologies over facebook.
I want to look her in the eyes. Thing is it was all dark, when i had arrived there.
It was probably 21.30 pm when i arrived, but everything was turned off in the house.
I basically just put the flowers and chocolate on the grass 'in the garden' being a bit dissapointed that i couldn't see her, but i felt relieved at the same time ^^
Next morning i told her that and she was furious man, well not raging furious but was clearly mad.
She seemed to chill down a bit, when i explained why i did it.
She told me, that i am being fucking ridiculous and retarded.
That i SHALL NOT come to her home.
She dont have feelings for me anymore etc...

Thing is, she didn't seem all that irritated and i was just being chilled with the whole situation and take her words with a grain of salt.
I was being honest when she talked to be and i failed to stand up with the 'absolutest abundance' just saying stuff like 'yea, ur right, i was probably just being a bit naive doing this and this, so forth...

but thing is, if i am to gain absolute abundance, i guess i can. I considered the mission a fail and a success at the same time. I poked her and got her to respond to me, but i see now, that it is going to become a battle, which i think is winnable but what do you guys think?

Comments

  • 7 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • TipToeTheStone
    When i speak about abundance, you have to know what mediation is. Biologically, men and women work differently according to biology and i know that.

    I have been shown a lot of pain and misjudgement growing up with a narcissist.
    Thing is i have always been with alot of girls and know how their mindset works, ' sort of', from my own standpoint at least. my narcissism allows me to get together with a girl quick but i have 'surrendering' problems.

    If you know what meditation is, you know what i mean, when  i speaK about the difference of 'abundance' and 'absolute abundance',.

    Right now i am in abundance, but since i know what about what meditation is, it is what helps me to set me free of the worldly viewpoint of what it means to 'mature' or to be independent of what girl i get.

    I like to be in 'the just abundance because, i get the idea of what the right girl is, while at the 'absolute abundance' i dont give a shit about that, because i can handle the situation no matter what girl it is.

    My point is, that with mediation, that giving no fucking shit about anything but my happiness, it can influence the way i view girls, for both good and bad, for example... i can take a girl that is absolutely retarded and still turn the situation into a good one, turning her into a 'good girl' i guess u could say, apologize my lack of good words in this explanation, but i try my best to speak in a way that doesn't make me seem needy.

    I like the 'abundance stage' because it still makes me give a shit about what kind of girl i get together with.
    What i am worried about personally, it is that, i can't get this girl, if i don't get the 'absolute abundance' making me totally independent of any girl, if i don't meditate and i really feel like, that this girl is 'the soulmate'. So in essence to get this girl i have to be absolutely free of judgement for whatever girl i get and that may turn my view of a girl around on it's head.
    To make a girl attracted you have to ignite 'the spark of attraction' being a funny guy and not make her 'tests' too much of a deal and at the same time, give enough of a deal to be serious 'which is insanely hard to master'.

    I have been shown so much injustice in my life, that i want to become a black belt in
     whatever sport that makes me be able to fuck up any psychopath that want to fuck me over.
    point is, i don't think that the 'abundance' through sport is as great as with meditation, if i were to pick either.
    I could lose the girl though mediation 'bc absolute abundance make me not care about what girl i get' and maybe get the girl through the abundance and security mindset that fighting sports give because abundance through sport is not as great as with mediation.

    I think that the ultimate question, that no 'perfect answer' can give, it is... Can i just do sports and gain abundance that way rather than mediation, to get the girl?

    I know this may seem ridiculous and a bit far fetched, but if you were to see the chemistry that me and this girl had, you would know why i want to keep this girl around, even after 3 years.

    Ps. There is no perfect answer to this question, i know. I'd just like you to know my situation and how i view the situation with what i have discovered through meditation and the various techniques that exists out there.

    Will the fighting sport give me the independent mentality to give me back the girl i want, it may only become a reality after a good 3 years of training and that is way too fucking long to wait for anything.

    In essence, the question asked, do sport give me the abundance mentallity quick enough, that i can avoid meditating or can i get it through sports with just enough seriousness in 'perhaps' a half a year of time?

  • Patricia
    Take it one step at a time. Give her a few days and maybe call her. Get her to speak to you on the phone and on Facebook first. Build up that line of trust. Be truthful and don't hide things from her again. What you did in the past was a mistake. You should always communicate and share problems with loved ones without exceptions. 

    You will need to invest time and patience into this and you can never know if she will take you back or not. For the moment just try to be a friend to her, get her to talk to you on the phone. It's been some time and she probably feels hurt from what you did in the past so there are probably some wounds there. 
  • Alexia
    Like Patricia said, you shouldn't skips steps now. You need to win her trust, show her you're on her side and you don't want to cause her problems. You need to get her to communicate with you via phone or social media. 

    Take it slow and give her reasons to trust you and to want to be with you again. If I were you I would apologize to her and then just give her some space and contact her again in a week or so. Then call her again after 2 weeks maybe - you need to give her time to think. Then after about 1 month I would tell her I still love her and am a new person. I would tell her I know i messed up but I'm trying to do better. I would tell her I miss her and will do as she asks just to get her back. I will do anything short of giving up on her. 
  • TipToeTheStone
    When i speak about abundance, you have to know what mediation is. Biologically, men and women work differently according to biology and i know that.

    I have been shown a lot of pain and misjudgement growing up with a narcissist.
    Thing is i have always been with alot of girls and know how their mindset works, ' sort of', from my own standpoint at least. my narcissism allows me to get together with a girl quick but i have 'surrendering' problems.

    If you know what meditation is, you know what i mean, when  i speaK about the difference of 'abundance' and 'absolute abundance',.

    Right now i am in abundance, but since i know what about what meditation is, it is what helps me to set me free of the worldly viewpoint of what it means to 'mature' or to be independent of what girl i get.

    I like to be in 'the just abundance because, i get the idea of what the right girl is, while at the 'absolute abundance' i dont give a shit about that, because i can handle the situation no matter what girl it is.

    My point is, that with mediation, that giving no fucking shit about anything but my happiness, it can influence the way i view girls, for both good and bad, for example... i can take a girl that is absolutely retarded and still turn the situation into a good one, turning her into a 'good girl' i guess u could say, apologize my lack of good words in this explanation, but i try my best to speak in a way that doesn't make me seem needy.

    I like the 'abundance stage' because it still makes me give a shit about what kind of girl i get together with.
    What i am worried about personally, it is that, i can't get this girl, if i don't get the 'absolute abundance' making me totally independent of any girl, if i don't meditate and i really feel like, that this girl is 'the soulmate'. So in essence to get this girl i have to be absolutely free of judgement for whatever girl i get and that may turn my view of a girl around on it's head.
    To make a girl attracted you have to ignite 'the spark of attraction' being a funny guy and not make her 'tests' too much of a deal and at the same time, give enough of a deal to be serious 'which is insanely hard to master'.

    I have been shown so much injustice in my life, that i want to become a black belt in
     whatever sport that makes me be able to fuck up any psychopath that want to fuck me over.
    point is, i don't think that the 'abundance' through sport is as great as with meditation, if i were to pick either.
    I could lose the girl though mediation 'bc absolute abundance make me not care about what girl i get' and maybe get the girl through the abundance and security mindset that fighting sports give because abundance through sport is not as great as with mediation.

    I think that the ultimate question, that no 'perfect answer' can give, it is... Can i just do sports and gain abundance that way rather than mediation, to get the girl?

    I know this may seem ridiculous and a bit far fetched, but if you were to see the chemistry that me and this girl had, you would know why i want to keep this girl around, even after 3 years.

    Ps. There is no perfect answer to this question, i know. I'd just like you to know my situation and how i view the situation with what i have discovered through meditation and the various techniques that exists out there.

    Will the fighting sport give me the independent mentality to give me back the girl i want, it may only become a reality after a good 3 years of training and that is way too fucking long to wait for anything.

    In essence, the question asked, do sport give me the abundance mentality quick enough, that i can avoid meditating or can i get it through sports with just enough seriousness in 'perhaps' a half a year of time?

  • TipToeTheStone
    I apologize for the million messages i left, but whenever i make apoint, i want to make myself straight as possible, without as much as a single misspelled word.

    unfortunately this website does not give me the chance to edit off the other messages.
  • Patricia

    1. I know what meditation is. I usually use it to free my mind, recharge my batteries and it helps my think clearer.


    2. While I understand what you are trying to say I think you can get your point across without using words like "retarded". These kinds of words are not very nice and don't help anyone.

     

    3. It's one thing to get a girl attracted to you and it's a totally different thing to build a solid relationship. These 2 are not the same at all. It's relatively easy to look attractive to a girl but building something that lasts takes a lot of effort, time and sometimes we have to do things we wouldn't otherwise.

     

    4. I think meditation should be used by anyone daily. It helps a LOT whether you are in a sport or not. So I would do it regardless.

     

    5. Why do you want to get together with her again? What are your reasons? From what you've said this is not very clear so if you could elaborate on this that would be great.

     

    6. I'm sorry that you have been shown much injustice in your life and at the same time I think that this has pushed you to become a better man. I think it's the hardships that develop us, that help us improve. Without them we would hardly be who we are. I try to look at obstacles and problems as stepping stones, as things that are there to motivate, mobilize and push me forward.


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