No Contact with a best friend

will_m3s
My girlfriend broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. I contacted her once a week later saying how sorry I was and that did not work to get her to come back. Since then I have not initiated contact. I have been sick so I have been out school for awhile and she texted me asked me how I was doing and we talked for awhile and it felt like old times again. She then initiated contact with me again and I politely told her that I needed time to recover and that we shouldn’t be talking to each other until we are okay. How long does this no contact thing last? Was that a mistake to tell her that? She is my best friend and we dated for three years and I really want her back so any advice would help 

Comments

  • 4 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Patricia
    It's important why you two broke up. So please provide more details about this if you can. The motives behind your breakup are important. Do you now want to get back together or just want to remain friends with her? 

    But if you miss talking to her then just call her and tell her this. She will probably be glad to hear from you. She is probably worried about you since you've been sick. As a rule, don't say something if you don't mean it (example: we shouldn't talk until we are okay). Always try to leave the door open. 




  • will_m3s
    Well the recent months have been hard. We have both been busy and because of this I became distant and I took her for granted. I was so selfish and I tried to make her feel bad because we weren’t talking/hanging out as much and I tried to pick fights. She said to me that she shut off her heart to me and that she fell out of love. I convinced her to give us another try but a week later she ended it because her feelings changed. She said that if her feelings did come back then she would let me know. I do want her feelings to come back as I want her back as my girlfriend 
  • Patricia
    We're always busy and that shouldn't stand in the way of love. Our loved ones should be at the top of our priority list. Instead of trying to pick fights, take some time to calm down and remember you love her and then, calmly, tell her what is bothering you and try to find a solution together. If you aren't communicating then this relationship will never work. You both need to set some rules from the start and find ways to make it work (when one is angry the other must listen without judgment, just listen, etc).

    I don't know how she feels, but you should let her know you have feelings for her and would like to be with her again. Ask her what is wrong and how it can be fixed. Be ready to hear she needs more time or even that right now she doesn't want to get back together. It can happen. Apologize for how you acted and tell her what you've learned. Show her you want to be a better boyfriend and a better man. 
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