Is my ex girlfriend heading into a rebound relationship and do I have a chance of getting her back?

hughesy96

Me and my ex were together for nearly 5 years and we broke up about 3 months ago and we did the typical thing we didn’t speak to each other about a month or so and then we started talking slowly and then it progressed and we became friends again and we spoke pretty much everyday. 


We ended up spending New Year’s Eve with each other and we kissed at midnight and all that, and things were good but she would go threw waves where she would tell me she missed me and that she still loved me and all that but I didn’t overreact to it because she had told me she just wants some time to herself to find herself again and heal because towards the end of our relationship it became quite toxic so she has planned to go travelling by herself for a couple of months to find herself and she turned and said to me so many times she doesn’t want a relationship or to date or anything like that before she goes overseas which meant a lot to me for 2 reasons, (1) so she can find herself & (2) she respects herself 


Anyway she has been talking to this guy since about Christmas time and he’s like obsessed with her he’s about 4 years older than her and he’s ready to settle down and is looking for someone to fill the “wife” roll pretty much etc.. but she just wants to travel and she’s very adventurous and bubbly and that’s why him and his ex split because he’s so set in his ways. He’s also a “taker” not a “giver” and does things when it suits him apparently. 


Anywho I kept asking her if she liked him or something going on there because I didn’t want to put my feelings on reserve for her and focus on myself whilst she went overseas and for the fact she told me numerous times that she missed me and still loved me, anyway not the Thursday just gone but the one before that she told me she actually missed me and asked if I wanted to catch up on the weekend for a coffee and then I saw she liked his profile photo on Facebook (which she usually doesn’t do unless shes interested in someone) so I kept assuming sadly and we ended up having like a 2 days fight (Thursday & Friday) about it because I knew she was lying to my face and avoiding it and she ended up going out with him Friday night with 2 of her brothers and she got so drunk and then on the Saturday posted a photo of her and him and his roommate on his couch at his unit, and the next day posted a photo of a day Spa her and I used to go to and I had a feeling she was with him and then funnily enough she posted a video of him sitting at breakfast with her. She had pretty much spent the entire weekend with him and she had never met him before Friday night, Would she be doing that just to make me jealous and hurt me? Because 3 weeks ago she openly and randomly said to me if we got back together when I get back from overseas it would be so much better, we would trust each other, and be honest and just have a fresh start, but then all this happens. I’m happy to send you screenshots of some of our conversations. 


Do you think it’s possible that it could just be a rebound even though we’ve been broken up for 3 months? From things I’ve read and some signs I think it could be but I want to get an a opinion because I want her back so god damn bad. 


If you’re truly interested in someone wouldn’t you like their posts ? And she’s been posting photos of them on social media like trying to flaunt it. And the other night I saw on her Instagram story she was out to teppanyaki with him at like 9:30-10pm on a work night, and I know that isn’t like her at all haha :(.  

Comments

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  • Patricia

    Since you’re ex is adventurous what she did might be because of that. She found this new guy, that is interested in her, and I mean really interested – he probably bought her flowers, talks very nice to her and so on.

     

    I do not know your situation exactly – there’s much more information that would be needed here – but, I will try to make an educated guess here. If I were you, I would ask myself: What is my ultimate goal here? Answer (probably): to spend the rest of my life with her. As soon as you decide this with all your heart it becomes  clear you must not get angry or upset or fight with her. What you want it quite the opposite: to show her she means the world to you.

     

    Call her, tell her you miss her and love her. Get together and talk and ask her what she actually needs from you. How can you become the kind of man she wants? What is missing? Even if she’s with that other guy, don’t give up EVER – this might be a temporary thing. Tell her you miss her so much and that everything she’s doing now is hurting you. Don’t be angry or judgmental, just tell her how you feel with calm. Show her you are a better man.

     

    Get things straight from her: are you in a break? For how long? What needs to happen so you can get back together and make it last? What are the real reasons behind your breakup? 

  • Alexia
    hughesy96 - I think Patricia is spot on. You should definitely talk to her. If there's not enough communication this will never work out no matter how much you think you love her. Take it step by step but talk to her about what you both need for this to work. 
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