Can I use that he already thinks I want him back against him?

My ex and I broke up actually over 2 years ago.  It was messy and he played with my feelings for months after so I admit I went a little nuts on him.  After an extremely long time, I realized that I missed some of our mutual friends and outings where we both were there made things awkward for all.  So I started reaching out to make things better.

And he responded.  When I text, I get a quick and generally friendly email.  He started acknowledging and even briefly talking to me in public.  Now some of his friends have said things to me about him noticing how good I look (I lost over 10 pounds, went full blonde, full confidence, I am 100% improved).  One of his friends is convinced he is not over me, drunken confession.  So I have been thinking myself about him lately and getting him back.

After a few weeks of friendly, I was out where he was.  Didn't say hi to him but was hanging with friends and TRUST ME I looked good, it took me a lot of time on hair and outfit and make up but it was awesome.  At one point in the night I am at the bar, and I feel a yank on my arm.  He goes come here and pulls me on the dance floor, like spinning and laughing and having fun, not just bump and grind.  After the dance I went back to my thing and he went back to his.

But at another bar a few days later he showed up and didn't say hi or acknowledge me.  Of course I didn't to him it could be either him or him reading my signals.

But here is the big thing.  He already assumes everything I do is to get him back.  He tells his friends that.  They defend me now cause of the work I have put in swaying them.  Can I use that against him?  Like play hard to get by playing up his ego on that?  As in, take control, stop waiting for him to come up to me, go up to him, be friendly, put my awesomeness (yes I am awesome, I worked to get that way) right in his face, but then never pursue farther?  Will the strength of his ego plus the attraction I think is there work to push him into chasing me?  I see everything saying don't make it obvious, but I am thinking is there a way to lean into the spin here to my benefit?  Flirt but always stop short of where he thinks I would take it.  Approach him until he gets accustomed to it and misses when I don't, or he starts doing it himself cause he likes it?  Suggestions appreciated!!!


  • 2 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Patricia
    So, let me get this straight: do you want to get him back or do you just want to mess with his mind a little? And what is you end goal here: do you want to make him fall in love with you and then just leave him hanging? 
  • Patricia
    Also, if you do want him back, do you want to have a real relationship with him, as in one that may eventually lead to marriage? If that's the case, then you should just talk to him and not keep playing these games (although I get it that it's fun to do so). It all depends on what you want from this relationship and congrats on your great self esteem - I love that :)!
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