He Said "I Need a Break" and I am Hurting and Confused


In/was? a 8 month relationship where we don’t see each other that frequently it’s been okay because we call or text and eventually see each other. He’s in school (final year), and I am graduated for a while. He’s 5 years younger than me, but that was never an issue for us. It was two days before he confronted me that he was saying “I love you so much babe”, and “you are a golden creature that I adore”, etc. such beautiful things to me. We had a good Saturday morning the weekend prior and spent some time together.

What happened?

He invited me to get breakfast with him earlier in the week and forgot what day he told me was good for it and then I reminded him and we made that plan for me to meet him by his job so we could get breakfast because he doesn’t have a lot of free time. I’m used to going to his place (parent’s house), etc, as I work near his town and live further away (40mins). He is very busy and so am I. We are both active in the music/arts scene and have projects and gigs,etc. He works a few jobs and really packs his days in (as he says and from what I can see) but that never stopped us from finding time even if for a few hours. A few times he met me for lunch break at work or when he had some time. usually it was me making the effort for everything but I know that he won’t be in school forever so I was okay with it. 

The day it happened:

We meet up at restaurant for breakfast and he is already inside waiting on a table. He orders a small breakfast which usually that’s me because I’m not a big breakfast person but I ordered an average meal. The conversation familiar but was also sort of strange and not that warm as usual with our joking around and such. Told me a lot about his busy upcoming days,etc. We ate and he still had time before his shift so I invited him to chill with me in my car before he had to go in. I barely reclined my seat back and smiled up at him before he said “There’s something I want to talk to you about”.

He was holding my hand throughout the whole thing, and somehow i reached out for his face and held it and we kissed and hugged at some point and I held him for a long time and somehow acted like i could accept all of what he was saying. I must have convinced him bc then he moved onto telling me he has my records we never sold together and i allowed him to put them in my trunk with my pillow he didnt mention was there but was clearly there that i left at his house for months so he could be closer to me when it as there and snuggle it etc etc. I held his face some more and kissed him again. and let him go into his car and move it to a spot closer to the door bc "it's cold and rainy out here". I got back in my car and threw my hands in the air and fucked with my hair in distress and he may have seen it in his peripherals and drove off. either way he was driving to a new spot. I sat in my car and cried for a half hour. texted mom, bffs, and shut my car off and walked in the rain in my crop top that i thought he’d compliment was cute and my new jeans. it was cold but i needed to feel. I eventually returned to my car still crying and spoke to mom and bff on the phone and drove to meet my band as I had to keep my shit together for our 2 gigs we had that day. Almost crashed my car the next night when my mind wandered. Had some good cries. Finally sleeping more and eating more (first 2 days I stared at m ceiling and didn't sleep much, didn't eat all the meals of the day). I don’t feel desperate, like I don't need a boyfriend to be happy, but I am just very hurt and do miss him that guy I love. I am also so angry at how quick he did this and that he had his mind made up it seemed. I know this week especially he was saying he wanted space for all he had going on, but I am hoping he contacts me first when he can clear his head. He said “I think I need a break”, and his facebook status changed from relationship with me to “it’s complicated”. HELP ME I’M CONFUSED


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  • Patricia
    Sorry this happened to you. I know it's tough and things may get better (or not) but either way, you're not alone in this. This happens to a lot of men and women on a daily basis. Who knows why he did this? Maybe he felt overwhelmed or maybe he's just not ready for a serious relationship right now or he things he doesn't have enough time. Anyway, he shouldn't have done this so quickly but he should have taken the time to explain what was going on. I know it's really hard but please stop torturing yourself. You don't know what will happen but you shouldn't get your hopes up in case he just doesn't want this to continue. 
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