How to go from friends to lovers?


I’ve been friends with this woman for the last 4 years and we are great together. We laugh at each other’s jokes, we try to help if the other one is in trouble and we constantly keep in touch. A few weeks ago I started developing feelings for her. I don’t know if she feels the same or not. I would like to become her boyfriend but I don’t really know if I want to risk our friendship. I mean, what if we eventually breakup or she just doesn’t want to be with me in that way? It could turn ugly. 


  • 2 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Merry

    You have to really think about this before you act. You could be ruining a great friendship on something that it’s not even meant to be. I don’t want to discourage you but when you spend so much time with a woman, you may develop feelings for her. This doesn’t mean you should act on those feelings. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either. You have to decide which is most important to you: your friendship or a potential relationship with her? It’s a hard decision, I know, but life isn’t easy. And you need to think about it for a while so don’t say anything yet. Just think about the good sides and bad ones of both decisions. What would happen if she says she’s into you? But what if she’s not? 

  • Tom

    In my humble opinion, I feel you should let her know how you feel. If your relationship has changed then she has the right to know. I agree with what (man above) said that you shouldn’t just rush into it. You should choose your words carefully and try not to make yourself look desperate. You like her as a friend and don’t want to upset her or end your friendship with her. You just want to know if she feels anything more towards you. If it were me, I would test the waters and try to get a vibe on whether or not she likes me. I’m guessing she isn’t in a relationship (otherwise you wouldn’t be asking this, right?) so ask her what she looks for in a guy. What does she like? What does she dislikes? Start with this and go on from there.  

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