The following love letter of regret was sent in by one of my readers who asked that I share it. Can you empathize with this situation? Have you ever felt the need to write a love letter like this?

Dear Cory,

I am writing this love letter of regret to you in the hope that you will hear me out and give my words a chance to get through from me to you. I have tried to explain my feelings on the phone, but it seems that our conversations always go wrong somehow. And emails and texts get read and ignored much too easily. So here goes, and because you mean so much to me it’s worth the effort.

We have been through some hard times in the last couple of years. I remember when we met, it seemed as though we were meant for each other. We both experienced that sense of having found someone who shared opinions, dreams, and were compatible in every way. And things were great for a while. But after a year or so something changed, and I will take the blame for that. I started feeling that our differences were coming out and affecting our relationship in surprising ways. I remember when I wanted to go to an Indian restaurant for my birthday, and I talked you into it. Turned out to be a mistake, because you really can’t stand Indian food, but you went along just to try to keep me happy. Later your resentment came out and I was surprised at your anger – you felt that I was forcing you to be someone you weren’t.

Then a strange thing happened – I began to feel the same. It seemed that little things started to come between us, and we lost our spark and passion in trivialities. But at the time everything was important, and as we grew apart I began to think that we were destined to live separate lives. I noticed that I fantasized a lot about being in a different place, talking to new friends, seeing other surroundings, and living a new life. Of course I couldn’t tell you about this tendency, because it would hurt you, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. But we both know that I did exactly that – and I have regretted it ever since.

I will never forget that day some 6 months ago. It was the dark days of December, and here in the great northwest the darkness comes early in winter. There was a similar darkness inside me, and it grew to the point where I could no longer ignore it. I told you that I thought we should go our separate ways, and that I was feeling that I needed a different life than the one we had together. After the initial shock, we were able to talk about it and you agreed to let me go if that would make me happy. You were always concerned with my happiness, no matter what was going on inside of you. So I left, and my last sight of you sitting in your favorite chair with tears streaming down your face was the one I carried with me for a long time.

But now I realize that what we did was wrong – that we should have worked on our relationship instead of letting go so easily. I know that we can have our differences and give each other the space to meet our own needs and expectations without giving up the best thing we had – real, deep and lasting love. I think we should give it another try, that we have something that can transcend our difficulties. If you feel the same, please let me know by responding. I love you with all of my heart, and I can’t wait to start a new life – with you.



Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

1 Comment

  1. Jeffrey Lynch Reply

    I’m reaching out to you as a last hope; I meet someone almost a year ago after divorcing my wife after 19 years. We hit it off right away like we were meant to be; but after about six months, I started to have thoughts and feelings that she wasn’t being entirely truthful with me about her other relations. I think it was my insecurity after a failed marriage. I am a handicapped individual and I’m not sure if that has added to it but I absolutely was in love with this woman. After my breakdown as I call it, she gave me a couple of chances to redeem myself and I was better at it but recently I went astray after she didn’t text me or contact me all night long one night and then she called it is with me; saying she couldn’t handle the roller coaster rides anymore. Is there anything you might suggest that I could say to her to change her mind?? Thanks for any help you can provide.

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