Many times, guys complain that their happy-go-lucky girlfriends behave like a psycho after a few years of being in a relationship. Well, it’s quite understandable because jealousy and possessiveness is bound to creep in if she really loves you. But girls, you need to learn that you cannot be acting too clingy and needy or things in your relationship may turn upside down. Trust me, you would be pushing him away from yourself if you keep acting desperate and kinky all the time. You need to be a little laid back and relaxed so that he feels comfortable to be around you. The little secret of a healthy long lasting relationship is giving your partner enough space and time for himself.

We know you love him to the moon and back and maybe you are willing to do anything to make things work. But, you need to realize that acting needy and clingy will be of no good for you and your partner. Imagine, a scenario, where your partner keeps calling and texting you the whole day? Or even worse, you keep a check over him by pinging his friends or colleagues in the office? Girl, I know you love him and lot and fear losing him but your actions can actually mess things up without you even realizing its harsh consequences. Here are a few signs you need to avoid at any cost, else you will end up losing him forever. Now, you definitely need to know the signs that prove that you are acting as a needy and clingy girlfriend.

Are You a Clingy & Needy Girlfriend?


Girl, this the most obvious signs that you are acting desperate and clingy. Yes, he may love you but you need to know that you are not the only person in his life. If you expect him to keep texting you back the whole day, then you are going wrong somewhere. Yes, when you are in love, you feel a constant urge to be in touch with that person and texting or calling may seem irresistible. But you need to realize that he has a life without you too. And even worse, if you crib over his late replies and no call backs, then you need to learn to take things lightly.


So, imagine a scenario, where he got struck in a traffic jam or an urgent office meeting. How do you react in such situations? Do you get mad over such petty issues or do you just try to understand his situation and support him? Trust me, no matter how much he loves you, if you act overly possessive and insecure, he is bound to feel chained and suffocated. This can affect your relationship to a level you cant even imagine. Often partners complain of losing the charm in their relationships. Well, relationships lose that spark because partners become excessively indulgent in each other lives. Then what follows is disappointments, expectations and ego. Hence, make sure that you give him enough space so he is happy sharing things with you.


Wait, are you jealous of all his best friends and his bestie girlies? And guess what can be worse than this? You over react whenever he tells you something about them casually. Have you ever been in a situation where he was asking your opinion about his best female friend and you got mad at him? This is a sure shot sign that you are a clingy girlfriend. Well, don’t blame him later if he starts hiding things from you. And next time you start questioning him after getting annoyed about any casual incident, you just need to know that you are at fault. Just make peace with the fact that he got a life too. You cannot expect him to stop talking with other girls just because he is committed to you. On the other hand, you should be lending him your ear so he can speak his mind in front of you always.


If your boyfriend is fun loving, then he would definitely be having tons of friends which includes females too. Do you get overly anxious about his past relationships and his social media pictures with other girls? Girl, if you actually stalk him to that extent, you are definitely acting clingy. Do you constantly ask him for his facebook, gmail passwords? Or, you just feel the need to peep in his message box every once a while? Well, you just know what I am trying to say. Don’t blame him if he becomes irritated next time. Just keep a watch over your actions and look for yourself.


So, you ended up fighting with him last night or he didn’t talk to you because he was busy? If you get upset with every such small action, you definitely need to act more mature. You need to take a chill pill and sit back.


If you will always be available for him, then you would be taken for granted. This is one of the trap you may be falling into, without even realizing it. Being overly affectionate and loving can actually back fire you. When you act that he is the only person in your life, you are giving him the power to control your life. You may end up getting disappointed if he fails to reciprocate.


You have already started planning about your future with him while he is still in two minds about seeing you as his life partner. You need to make sure that you need to take your relationship more casually especially in the initial years. Don’t expect too much or you would end up creating your own heartbreaks with your expectations.


Do you feel the need to make everything public whenever its your boyfriend involved? You make sure that all know that he is only yours forever. Maybe you feel there is nothing wrong in it. But, girl, excess of everything is bad. It would be tough for you to digest this fact, but truth is you want the world to know that he is committed to you.


You need to understand that its not always possible for your guy to make you feel special and great. Maybe he had a bad day at workplace or it could be any other damn thing. If you cannot tolerate his inconsistent behavior even for a day, you are surely being annoying for no reason. You need to understand that his life doesn’t revolve around you and it’s your problem if you can’t deal with this fact realistically.


You are being excessively possessive if you cannot see him happy with anyone else other than you. You hate him having fun without you and chide him for having his own “ME” time. Girl, its time for you to grow up and set things right before you lose him.


Make sure that he follows everything you say. This is dominating. Isn’t it? He has the rights to make decisions about his life and you shouldn’t think of governing his life the way you want.


Girl, you need to get a life for yourself. He loves you and that’s all you need to know to be with him forever. You cannot get mad if he complimented a girl for her new hairstyle or dress. Totally not acceptable.


He may love you a lot but its wrong to expect that he is in that lovey-dovey mood every day, If you are indeed this much insecure, then you are definitely acting creepy and weird. You may end up agitating him if you fight on this next time.


Yes, you may love him. But its not good to keep his family in the loop all the time. You need to take things slow and steady otherwise you would act too desperate and make a fool of yourself. Just be prudent in your approach when its your boyfriend involved. After all, he is special. Isn’t it?


Your boyfriend is looking for a happy and joyous relationship, if you keep interrogating and questioning him every time you meet or talk, you would ruin the special bond that exists between you two. Hence, this is a definite no if you don’t want to act clingy and desperate girlfriend.

Now that you know the secrets to being a chilled girlfriend. Make sure that you follow some exquisite tips to control yourself before its too late.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.


  1. Too right, my girlfriend is totally pushing me away being so needy and clingy and I love her so much it’s heartbreak to not want to be with her as all I wanna do is love her and all she does is question me about everything saying stuff like “it would have been nice to hear from you today” I’m at work wtf do you want me to say – I’ve seen her Friday Saturday Sunday and it’s. Monday today – like what the gel do you want to talk about when I’m at work and we’ve been together for the last three days- not only this but I text her really nice messages in the morning and called her after she finished work – what the hell does she want me to do – turn up to her work and throw confetti or some bull shit I’m totally annoyed about her and I just don’t know what to do

    • D Confused Reply

      I’m a police officer and my girlfriend is the samr exact way, it’s like if I don’t text her or pick up one or calls when I’m busy at work. She doesn’t want to talk to me for the whole day, her reasoning is and I quote “if I’m going to do that to her then she’s going to do that back to me but she doesn’t want anyone to waste her time.” But then 2 sec later she says I want your babies. She says I miss you after she leaves my house but won’t meet up or let me see her when I’m free and offer to see her.

  2. I was acting most of it here. Yes, I consider myself desperate and clingy. But I have realized those things aren’t really good for us so I tried reading blogs and journals and this and I think I’ve been too much. Its a slap in my face to be eaxct. I love him, and I always wanted to be assured of that. But yeah this is right, he might get suffocated with the way I acted. So I guess this is the real wake up call for me. I really hope it’s not too late for us. We are still in the relationship but he is kinda acting cold already. I dont know if he is just busy or what. But I will trg to adjust. Its my fault anyway. I’d be better noW. Thanks for this.

  3. Great text, i hope that more people realize that theit fristations come from their huge expectations in other person too.

  4. I am like this and I don’t know how to stop!! Please help me. I drive people away.

  5. Same thing with my GF, I’m sick of it and I’d rather be single than deal with her irrational insecurities. I want to be a PART of each others lives, I don’t want to BE her life. She just got really needy lately and got jealous over me possibly getting a new and better job and started asking stupid questions about “what if you get a cute secretary? Are you gonna hook up with her?” and so I said I’m out, right before Christmas too. Here’s your gift, good bye, Merry Christmas. She’s so worried about losing me to the next girl that she lost me by pushing me away with this crap.

  6. I just split up with a girl who was starting to show a lot of these. We’d only been dating for a month and she started a fight with me because it took me 5 minutes to reply to a text message. Then when she texted me “hi” and I replied “hey”, she got mad because it didn’t make her feel special enough. This fight went on for 3 days (tuesday night 10pm to 2am, all of Wednesday, then all of Thursday morning). Then did it again the week after because at one moment I didn’t smile at her, this was after I’d been with her from 5pm to midnight. I Even spent an hour and a half sitting alone at her class, and all she had to say was “you didn’t watch me, you didn’t hug me when I came out, you didn’t smile when you saw me”. Both times she started the fights by saying something like “I’m leaving you, don’t call me anymore, you don’t care about me”. I’ve had that kind relationship before, I couldn’t do it again.

  7. My goodness this is me all over, it is scary to read this but it is the kick up the ass I need to sort myself out. I am in a new relationship of just over a month and already my neediness has appeared! I have warned the guy that I can be needy and this article is so helpful to be right for. Thank you so much for posting. X

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