A sapiosexual is basically a person who is turned on by intelligence above all else. While this is something that most people consider necessary, these people place particular emphasis on it. When this type of person is looking for a partner, it is something that matters a lot to them. They make up a relatively small percentage of the population, but there are quite a few. There are sure signs that you may be a sapiosexual that you should know about.

1. Intellectual Conversation Stimulates You
Sapiosexuals are deeply stimulated by intellectual conversation. Whether it is politics or classic literature, this is something that these people thrive off of. Your idea of a perfect date is probably sitting down with someone and having a deep discussion. You, therefore, probably aren’t a big fan of tedious small talk.

2. You Value Intelligence Above Most Everything
When you are searching for a partner you connect with, intelligence is a top priority. If you go out with someone who clearly needs to be more intelligent, you immediately lose all interest. This is an absolute necessity and a definite deal breaker. In fact, it is probably one of the first things you look for when getting to know a potential mate.

3. You Can Debate With Someone for Hours
While some people shy away from debating with others, you gravitate towards it in a big way. You simply cannot get enough of heated but civil debates on things you feel strongly about. If someone challenges your perspective or knowledge, you have no problem engaging them. It is ultimately your goal to find someone who feels and does the same. You want to be with someone who is going to challenge you on a regular basis. Being with someone who just agrees with you all the time doesn’t feel fulfilling or sound at all.

4. Physical Attraction Takes a Backseat to Intellectual Conversation
You would rather be with an average-looking person that you could have intellectual conversations with than someone who is just all looks. The intellectual aspect always matters most. You notice physical appearance, but it is just not the most important thing in a potential partner.

5. Your Attraction to Someone Grows as You Get to Know Them
The more you get to know someone on an intellectual level, the more attracted to them you are. You don’t want to simply jump into a relationship or bed with someone before you really get to know them well. You must sit down and have some deep conversations before taking that next step together.

6. You Cannot Stand Small Talk
Some people have no problem with small talk, but you are not one of them. The garden variety sapiosexual has no patience for chatting about the weather or other mundane things. You’d always rather just sit with someone in complete silence than fill the air with meaningless words. It can be challenging to find someone who feels the same way, but it is very much worth it to you.

7. You Don’t Have Any Patience for a Foolish Demeanor
If it is one thing that you don’t have any patience for, it is people who act foolishly. Frivolity is a major turn off in potential partners. You really admire people who are able to face challenges with grace and intelligence. A cool and calm demeanour is a huge turn-on for you. You hate even being around people who are prone to emotional temper tantrums.

8. You Avoid Going to Bars like the Plague
If you have a choice between meeting someone in a bar or a library, you will choose the library every single time. Bars, clubs and other such places hold no interest for you whatsoever. These aren’t the kinds of environments you thrive in at all. You prefer to be in an environment that stimulates your intellect whenever possible.

9. People Come to You with Their Problems
You probably find that lots of people come to you with their problems because you are such a great listener. You are the sounding board for family, friends, and even co-workers. This is because you actually take the time to listen to people and focus on what they are saying. Unlike so many others, you aren’t just always waiting for your turn to speak. In fact, you probably feel more comfortable listening than talking most of the time.

10. You Cannot Abide Grammatical Errors
When you are texting someone and their messages are filled with grammatical errors, a small part of you just dies inside. It might seem like an exaggeration to some people, but not to you. Good grammar is something that you really value, even when it comes to casual texting back and forth. Grammar and spelling mistakes are a big turnoff.

11. Emotional Intelligence is Also Important to You
You also find emotional intelligence to be incredibly sexy. This means that the person you spend time with is good at interpreting what you say and your body language. You’re also turned on by those who are mature and act as such. People who use their intellect to solve challenging problems really pique your interest.

12. You Are Very Passionate About Learning
Your pursuit of knowledge is an essential part of your life, and you want to be with someone who feels the same way. You’re always trying to learn something new every day because that is just who you are. Whether it is finding out how a certain machine works or learning about a specific animal, you are always thirsty for knowledge.

While being a sapiosexual certainly comes with its fair share of challenges, there are also many benefits. If you identify as this type of person, you need to embrace it and look for someone who can satisfy your intellectual needs. There is nothing wrong with refusing to settle for less than you deserve.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

Write A Comment