There’s something about traditional dating that we all love. Maybe it’s the romantic gestures – being greeted at the doorway with a bouquet of roses, going to the movies, followed by a romantic candle-light dinner. Dreamy, isn’t it? But who does this anymore? With modern dating, things have become less dreamy and more exhausting. That’s right! We barely get to see romantic gestures anymore, and with the dating life, things keep getting more and more dull each day. Here are a few reasons modern dating can be quite exhausting.

1. Judged On Looks: Modern dating starts with the internet. Whether you find someone on social media or an online dating platform, the first thing you notice is their profile picture. So, it’s safe to say that it has become a societal pressure to look good online as people tend to judge you based on how ”sorted” or “ideal” the profile looks. That way the date is solely based on physical attraction and no real connection.

2. Over-expectation: The problem with modern dating is that everyone wants things to click instantly. We are too impatient to wait for the next date and build up certain expectations in our head as to what we want to see in the other person. You are expected to show the best version of you in the few hours of the first date, which makes you nervous and hesitant. Similarly, cut your date some slack, don’t judge them too soon. That way you will never end up finding the one.

3. Short-lived Buzz: There’s something about traditional dating that so many relationships last longer compared to those that arise from modern dating. The reason is that by the time you get to the relationship part, the excitement has already been lost. The dating gets boring and mundane, and instead of the buzz, you will find a lot of irritation and misunderstandings, which causes us to give up early in the dating phase. The relationship loses its magic even before there a spark develops.

4. No Real Connection: Chivalry seems to be dead in this date and time. There are no kind gestures, and you barely witness something romantic that is based solely on non-physical qualities. In today’s modern dating scenario, there is a lack of connection among people that is based purely on character. Everyone is more concerned about getting physical rather than making a genuine effort at getting to know someone. Trying to make a real connection should be based on qualities that click or a connection emotionally.

5. Stuck On The Phone: Not sure if the invention of mobile phones has done any good to us. Because it’s almost impossible to have a real conversation with someone when they are engrossed in their phones. Imagine meeting someone back in the day, when there were no cell phones or headphones. Nowadays, even when you see potential in someone, you find it difficult to have a conversation because they are either listening to music or browsing the internet. It’s about time we put our phones aside and have a real conversation with the person in front of you

6. The Question Mark: One more reason modern dating is exhausting is that it is too unpredictable. You never know how you will be treated at the end of the day. It is emotionally taxing because you don’t know if you have said something wrong, or if there would be a next date. You find yourself going on dates that take way too much time to evolve into anything meaningful. You start questioning every date you go to and wonder how it would end up.

7. Love Is Not A Priority: Finding love is not our priority. We are so independent and satisfied with our single lives that we don’t make an honest attempt to date someone nice. We prioritize work, career, and other things before we take time out for love. Every date seems so rushed. People are always in a hurry to get somewhere that they miss out on the whole point of dating. So if you are looking to find love, then add it to your priority list right away

8. Never Genuine: Modern dating can conceal real traits. People are now much more capable of portraying a fake persona. You almost never meet the person you read about. Lies and scams are a casual thing now, so it is quite exhausting to go through some fake ones to finally find a genuine one. It can get quite depressing, and you end up acting aggressively and scare people away.

9. Commitment Issues: This works both ways – either someone is too eager to settle after one date, or someone is ready to take the flight at the slightest mention of commitment. People are just so lost in this chain of dating that they don’t wait to go the distance with one single person and lose out the chance of actually finding true love. If someone makes you happy, don’t ignore them until they disappear and regret later. When you have found the one, then don’t take too long to commit.

10. Manipulative Games: These days, people don’t know how to respect someone’s personal space or privacy. Everyone is busy playing mind games and controlling others – how will you ever find the one? It’s time we all grew up and found someone without trying to have power over them.

These are a few reasons modern dating can be exhausting. We need to make peace with the fact that we are all human, and we are just trying to understand each other in this messy dating world. What’s important is to make a connection with someone, and for more than just physical attributes. It’s not always about physical attraction, or about materialistic traits, what matters is an emotional connection with the person. And when you have made a connection, try to keep it going. If you set your mind to it, modern dating need not be as exhausting as it may seem.


Anna Perkins is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband.

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