14 Jun 2012

Why Honesty Is Key To Romance In A Relationship

No Comments Relationships

We’ve all heard that honesty is the best policy, but where romance is concerned it is an absolutely essential policy. A relationship is only as real as the honest exchanges between the couple. Whether withholding information, stretching the truth or outright lying, the end result is the same – a dishonest partnership and why honesty is key to romance in a relationship.

Why Romance In A Relationship Is Key

Lasting love, passion, romance, commitment and devotion don’t appear overnight in a relationship. They are milestones and levels that are achieved and celebrated by a couple as their intimacy grows. Sometimes, an individual might try to “cheat” the evolution of romantic love and speed up the process by eliminating obstacles that could stand in the way. In the short run, perhaps there is immediate gratification. But love and romance for the long term cannot stand a chance in a relationship lacking honesty. The truth will always come out.

Relationships that last, those that reap the benefits of romance and longevity, are all built on trust. Just one instance of a lie, no matter the severity of it, can change the way one partner feels about the other where trust is concerned. That is why, no matter how difficult the topic, it is important to be forthcoming and honest with your love so you can become stronger by working through it together.

As mentioned earlier, there are variations of dishonesty that can stand in the way of a healthy, romantic relationship. Here are those variations:


Whether in a new relationship or having been married for decades, keeping information from your lover is not being honest. Carrying the burden of keeping the truth from your mate will likely be noticed by him or her at some point. Even worse, if your lover does find out you withheld information, trust will be impacted greatly. It is normal, once an individual has discovered that a partner kept a secret, that the question “how many other secrets have I not been told” will creep up. Doubt and mistrust can slowly erode the strength of the romantic bond over time.

DO THE RIGHT THING: Being honest and working with your lover through the conflict can build a romantic bond that lasts forever.


This form of not being honest is more prevalent in newer relationships, when trying to impress the other person. Boasting or bragging about accomplishments that aren’t necessarily truthful, stating beliefs on politics, religion or values that aren’t really your viewpoint at all or even stating you like music, hobbies or food that you don’t are all forms of stretching the truth. Of course, some of these may seem harmless – but a relationship that grows into a romantic union built on beliefs that aren’t reality is destined to crumble in the long run, when the truth eventually comes out.

DO THE RIGHT THING: Have you heard of “opposites attract?” Be yourself and let love grow in a flowerbed of truth. You cannot pretend to be someone else for eternity – if love was meant to be, it will be.


One of the many problems with lying to your lover is that it will require more lies to keep it going over time. Pure lying to your partner is the most severe form of dishonesty, because you succeeded at directly telling a lie to your love, right to his or her face. When this lie is discovered, your partner will remember this moment clearly and trust will be severely damaged.

DO THE RIGHT THING: Before it is too late, the time is now to have an honest discussion with your love. Apologize for being afraid to tell the truth, allow him or her to be disappointed and recognize that your being honest right here and now will help ease the mistrust in the future.

Honesty will bring you a loving, romantic relationship with your significant other. Romance and passion evolve from a partnership built on trust. Aside from dishonesty breaking that trust, it is draining to keep a secret or pretend to be someone you aren’t. Let your relationship grow stronger by being honest every day – celebrate your uniqueness and admit your shortcomings – and enjoy knowing your romantic love is true.


Grace Pamer is a full time romance and relationship writer. She writes romance and marriage proposal tip columns for various publications including YourTango.com and GalTime.com. As seen on FoxNews.com, Cosmopolitan.com, DivineCaroline.com and CanadianLiving.com to name but a few.

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