If you want romance to blossom, just utter these three little words: healthy, open communication. Did you think the words would be “I love you?” Of course, proclaiming your love unlocks passion in a romantic relationship. However, healthy communication is the key needed to open that door to true love – and keep it open.
When a couple lacks the ability to communicate effectively, the relationship ultimately suffers and romance can fade or never evolve in the first place. Communication between lovers is what builds depth in a relationship. How else can one learn about their partner’s past, hopes for the future, what makes them happy or sad? How can a relationship survive during crisis if a couple cannot problem solve or speak openly together?
When healthy communication is in place and both partners feel free to speak openly about anything, their love will be stronger than ever and romance will bloom. In fact, when lovers can communicate positively, it can even help improve romance. As an example, if a man or woman wishes their partner would be more romantic, it can be addressed without hurting their mate’s feelings or causing an argument.
So you see that good communication is key to romance in a relationship, but what exactly is “open and healthy” communicating? Here are some tips on positive comunication skills to help you:
USE “I STATEMENTS” TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
When there is tension or a difficult topic to discuss, never say “you do this” and “you are that.” Instead, tell your lover how you feel such as “I feel disappointed when…”
DON’T INTERRUPT AND REACT, JUST LISTEN
Nothing destroys communication like cutting someone off in the middle of expressing their feelings. Allow your lover time to say how he or she feels. Listen to the words, take a deep breath and allow communication to flow without responding to every point you might not agree with. Everyone is entitled to their feelings, plain and simple.
ALLOW YOUR PARTNER TO SPEAK
Both individuals need time to be heard, so keep your message clear and concise and promote time for both of you to speak. Too much information being spoken in one long message cannot possibly be retained or absorbed in one sitting.
Without speaking a word, your body language speaks volumes. Relax, breathe and make good eye contact while your lover is talking. Eye rolling, fidgeting, looking at the floor or appearing angry will stall all efforts of speaking openly and honestly. Make sure your body language promotes a respectful, loving environment.
NO ONE WINS OR LOSES, YOU ARE A TEAM
Your goal shouldn’t be to prove you are right and your partner is wrong. True love is not about keeping score. Your relationship is a give and take, built on understanding the importance of compromise and that both of your needs need to be met.
Aside from communicating to get through challenges and disagreements, simple daily communication between partners also builds romance. Every time a couple speaks to one another, they connect at some level. It is an opportunity to learn more about each other and a way to express love and affection. True romantic love isn’t just about the passion, it is about the connection between friends – for life.