Getting engaged is one of those rare moments in life. It should be special. It should be memorable. It should joyous. So just where should you propose?
We all want the fairy tale (even the guys!). We envision some hopelessly romantic moment when our boyfriend gets down on one knee, declares his love, and proposes. It’s the moment that starts the journey to “happily ever after.” Your boyfriend has a lot of work to do, and no doubt you’ve thought about what you’d like. There’s the ring and the location and keeping it a secret and making sure everything is perfect and in all that commotion it’s easy to lose sight of what’s really important – the love between the two of you.
Where Should You Propose?
Yeah, yeah, yeah… But what about my Neil Lane diamond and a sunset cruise around the Maldives? This is only happening once in my life. It has to be perfect!
Listen, bridezilla. A gorgeous ring, an exotic location, and a braggable story will never replace a meaningful commitment to each other. And if all the engagement accoutrements are your main focus, I hate to break it to you but you’re probably going to end up miserable and divorced.
Don’t believe me? Let’s play a little game…
Let’s say he gets you a flawless 4 carat princess cut solitaire. When he pops open the box, it literally takes your breath away the first time you see it. It’s so stunning you actually wonder if it’s real. You can’t wait to show it off to your friends because somehow the size of the ring equates to his love for you and your ring is bigger than everyone else’s… Except he cheats on you. Would you be happy looking at your priceless diamond every day if he can’t be faithful? Doubt it.
Let’s say he whisks you away to Bora Bora. You have a private over-water bungalow perched on stilts above the turquoise lagoon surrounded by white sand beaches. Everywhere you turn, there is a majestic mountain view. He arranges for a private dinner on the beach at sunset. And moments after dessert arrives, he drops down to one knee and asks you to spend the rest of your life with him. Absolute perfection…. Except he’s gay. Would you be happy having a great proposal story to tell your friends if you both have to spend the rest of your life in denial? Not likely.
Or let’s ratchet it down a few notches. Let’s say it’s a very simple, inexpensive ring; it’s the most he could afford. And he’s not whisking you off to some sexy remote location. Instead, it’s early morning around sunrise. He places the ring on your finger while you’re still asleep. He kisses your face until you wake up and as you open your eyes, he asks you to be his wife. You happily say yes. You love him and can’t wait to marry him. Except your family and friends don’t approve and when you call to share your exciting news, they aren’t happy for you. In fact, they’re disappointed because they hate him and think he’s not good enough for you. Each and every single one them refuse to attend your wedding. And your mother points out that he will never be welcome in her home. That’s going to make the holidays a little difficult, now isn’t it? Would you be happy essentially giving up your family and friends in exchange for a romantic intimate proposal? You shouldn’t!
I’m not saying the proposal and everything that goes into it isn’t important. It is. You want that moment to be special. But jewelry and vacations aren’t what makes that moment memorable. The moment is memorable because it’s meaningful. An engagement is an intimate bond between two individuals who love each other that will strengthen over time. If anything, the love between the two of you is what makes the ring or the spot where he proposed special. Ever hear of something called sentimental value?
It’s easy to forget that when we’ve got everything from our friends to social media to wedding websites to television telling us that a marriage proposal has to be extravagant. IT DOESN’T. The only thing that matters when it comes to a marriage proposal is that he truly means it. Anything beyond that is icing on your wedding cake.
Do you agree? Where did you propose? Are there any no no’s when it comes to a proposal location for you? As ever I love to know what you think so please comment below.