If you are thinking about proposing to your sweetheart then first off congratulations on considering such an important step. Marriage is a big commitment and so, if you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you are indeed lucky and deserve all the happiness that will come from this moment.
Before you get caught up in the romantic planning of how to pop the question, it is always recommended that you take time to ask yourself some questions first, to be certain your lover is “the one.” Though romance is key to a happy and long lasting relationship, it can also distract from real issues in newer relationships – which can spell trouble for you in the future.
These following questions/topics should give you the confidence to know you are making the right decision at the right time. Time is the key here – if you cannot answer some of these questions, it doesn’t mean your future marriage would be doomed but merely that more time and growth is necessary in your relationship before making such an important commitment.
NOT ALL OPPOSITES ATTRACT
No two people can be 100% alike, but being opposite on major issues can spell trouble down the road. It’s ok to differ on unique qualities such as music or ice cream flavors, but how do you and your partner rate on the following topics?:
Are either of you religious and, if you had a child, what religion would he/she be brought up in?
Where do either of you want to live 5 years from now – is one a country mouse and one a city mouse?
Do you both want children?
Do you have strong, opposing political views?
Do you both like staying indoors/being active outdoors on weekends?
Do you both want (or don’t want) children?
Do you feel the same about money, spending, budgeting, debt?
Younger relationships are usually full of romance, euphoria and seeing the best qualities in each other. But any older couple will tell you that life will happen and a relationship needs to be strong to get through it:
Do you feel you have been together long enough to propose?
Why do you feel your relationship is ready for marriage (thinking with the heart vs. the mind)?
Have you experienced struggles together, such as a death, financial trouble, health problems and how did your relationship do?
Is there any fear motivation at work, such as “I don’t want to lose her?”
Can you imagine ever living without her or does she make your life feel complete?
Is she, without a doubt, the one for you?
Do you have even a tingling of feeling for anyone else?
Again, happy couples respect their different personalities – they don’t criticize or condemn. Here are some personality challenges to be think about that could cause trouble in your marriage:
Are you both introverts or both extroverts?
Do you both either appreciate the finer things or living a simple life?
What types of conflicts do you see happening, even if they aren’t that serious now, such as clean vs. messy, organized vs. disorganized, healthy lifestyle vs. unhealthy?
If you made it through this basic assessment of relationship strength and feel, without a doubt, that you are both ready for a marriage proposal, then what is left is deciding how to ask her to be your wife. This day will be remembered forever, so creativity is the key! You don’t have to go into debt to make a romantic, beautiful proposal setting…but do take time to make it special.
Most importantly, keep her preferences in mind during the planning process. If she is a private person, don’t propose in a football stadium. If she doesn’t care for the outdoors, find a special place indoors to propose. Make it special for both of you, because years from now you will revisit this day in your mind. You both will smile when you reminisce about your marriage proposal – and how grateful you are to be lovers and best of friends.