25 Sep 2012

The Danger of Office Flirtations

No Comments Featured Articles, Relationships

As a man, I am well aware of the attraction and fun of office flirtations. I worked in an office that had an overabundance of women compared with men, and it was a constant occurrence. I was completely aware of who would engage in flirting behavior, who was adamantly opposed to it, and who could be talked into it if all else failed. And I’m just talking about flirting here, not an actual affair. All of the women in my office were married, or were in serious relationships, so it was never really a question of going that far – although that, of course, is one of the many dangers of flirting in the office.

Losing Your Cool

The whole purpose of stopping by for a chat, leaning on the desk, conversing in a way that titillates the mind and body, allowing a casual conversation to go on a little long, or any of a hundred other ways we flirt, is to have fun. If you cannot engage in flirtatious behavior without thinking about getting serious or getting into her apparel, then you shouldn’t be doing it. And of course, that’s the danger – you won’t be able to keep your cool and just have fun. Fantasy has a way of outrunning reality, and before you know it you’re on a dangerous road and you’ve gone too far.

Losing Your Job

I would hope that you might have considered this possibility and looked into it. Most workplaces have rules about such things, and then there are the sexual harassment laws that can be invoked easily when the mood changes or flirting gets out of hand. You have to be very careful that your flirtatious behavior is being appreciated and reciprocated by the pretty girl at the desk next to yours. If it isn’t, you could be in danger of losing the job that keeps you in the office, and able to flirt with other, more adaptable people. And, if you run into problems with a person because of your flirting, you would feel very uncomfortable and want to find a different place to work. Either way, losing your job in these times is not a good idea.

Losing Your Friends

You may start out as friends with the one you ‘re flirting with. And you may be able to stay friends for  along time. But it’s also possible that if things get out of hand, you could lose at least one friend – her. And chances are that she has friends that will stand by her, and if you and she are no longer friends, you and they are not friends either. Real, true friends are not easy to come by, so don’t squander them by taking flirtation past the legal limits.

Losing Career Focus

Along with providing a paycheck and all the things that a paycheck helps with, your job hopefully is a step on a career path for you. That means that you need to stay focused on doing a good job, learning all you can learn, and planning the fantastic life you have envisioned will be yours by climbing the career ladder rung by rung. A slip at this point would be disastrous, and flirting with the women in the office can make you fall off the ladder completely. Maintain your focus and realize that there actually are some things more important than spending time with the hot new lady.

Losing Self-Esteem

If you become infamous for being the office flirt, you’ll feel good about it at first. Then the downside will kick in, you’ll feel like you’re being talked about behind your back, and your self-image will go to heck. Self esteem is a fragile thing, and feeling good about yourself is important. Don’t sacrifice your sense of being a good person for being the office flirt -it’s not worth it in the long run or the short run.


Josh Ringham is a late twenties relationship writer. He writes about the intracesies of relationships from a mans perspective.

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