Serious relationships, as with anything in life, have peaks and valleys along their paths. There are times of joy as well as sorrow, periods of calm as well as moments of crisis. Nothing gets a couple through the highs and lows of life like healthy communication does, so it is important to keep communicating no matter if your partnership is facing a peak, valley or plateau.
At times, open and honest communication can fall off track. This is nothing to fear – it happens to most couples at various points throughout their relationship. Perhaps your lover is under overwhelming stress at the office, is feeling vulnerable after a hurtful blow was dealt to self-esteem or maybe you both had a disagreement that is hard for him or her to shake. These are just a few possibilities out of many potential reasons why your partner might have closed up recently, where communication is concerned.
To get the communication train back on the track, here are some romantic ideas to get your partner talking honestly once more:
MAKE SURE YOUR PARTNER FEELS SAFE TO OPEN UP TO YOU
Sometimes a lover is showing a symptom of a problem that actually belongs to you, even if unintentional. Take a moment to reflect and think about what has changed or taken place that may have resulted in this change in behavior.
If you tend to interrupt your partner when he or she speaks, laugh or ridicule when your lover makes a suggestion or display bursts of anger when you don’t agree, then it will be your job to convince your love it is safe to communicate with you once more.
Romantic Ideas: Schedule alone time and tell your mate that you recognize you need to work on positive communication and admit that you could do better, giving detailed examples of where you feel you need to improve. Be open and honest yourself and you might be surprised at how quickly honest communication is restored. One hint, this is not about telling your lover where he or she needs to improve – this is about you setting a good example of honesty, explaining how you need to improve.
MAKING UP CAN BE SO MUCH FUN
If your partner has closed up due to tension in the home, it is time to lay down your guns and reconnect once more. No one is keeping score and you don’t have to win. The truth is, when you make up and move on, you both are winners!
Romantic Ideas: Whatever you do, don’t “buy” yourself an apology. Write a love letter that details what you are sorry for, explaining that your relationship means so much and you don’t want to waste one day on a silly disagreement. Face to face, if you aren’t a letter writer, works well too!
WHEN YOU JUST NEED A SPARK
Sometimes honest communication goes quiet just from the beat of daily life. Often just a little bit of fun can reverse the process quickly.
Romantic Ideas: Be playful and flirty. Schedule quality time alone for a weekend getaway or send the kids to grandma’s house. Connection is the key. Tell your lover you miss alone time, talking and laughing. There are even some great books for lovers full of fun questions that encourage reminscing, playfulness and connection.
WHEN YOUR PARTNER DOESN’T WANT TO BURDEN YOU
Sometimes, because we love our partners so much, we don’t want to burden them with our fears or concerns. But romantic love is a team effort and it is too heavy for one to carry alone.
Romantic Ideas: Get t-shirts made that say “Team (your last name)” and give them to your lover when you have uninterrupted time together. Explain that you want him or her to know that it is safe to share the load in your relationship, that one cannot do it alone. You don’t have to push or pry for information at that moment, but just let your love know you are ready to listen when he or she is ready to talk.
No matter why honest communication has derailed, it will take openness and honesty in a safe, loving and romantic environment to restore it. Make time alone to be together without interruption, engaging in favorite activities such as hiking or fishing. Stay connected at home with a gentle touch, good communication skills and eye contact. Most of all, let your lover know he or she is your best friend and that you will always, always be there.