25 Jul 2012

Is Marriage Still the Ultimate Declaration of Love?

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Do you feel that marriage is still the ultimate declaration of love? It certainly doesn’t appear that this is the case in this day and age. Divorce rates are skyrocketing, tv shows on Bridezillas are seen as something normal and humorous, weddings have become big business and a “must have” – and on and on it goes.

There was a time that society considered someone who defined marriage as “it’s just a piece of paper” to be the most unromantic partner in existence. It raised red flags that should alert the man or woman to leave that relationship, that it would “go nowhere.” But what if those who believe marriage is just a piece of paper are right?

Of course many people will say that marriage is a sacred bond and ultimate commitment, to love one another ‘til death do you part. But as we all know, divorces are quite simple to obtain, and at least 50% of those taking their vows will seek a divorce attorney in the future. So one or both standing at the altar aren’t actually taking this bond very seriously, it would seem.

There are many wrong reasons to get married, and it would seem today’s couples are guilty of one or more of these potential risk factors:

Wanting The Fairytale Wedding

Brides often dream of that fairytale wedding, as do their girlfriends and even their parents. When a couple has been together awhile and they seem committed, the pressure is on to go to the next level…sometimes without real thought concerning what this commitment truly means.

Getting Married Too Soon

Many couples boast of “love at first sight” these days, without truly getting to know one another. The honeymoon phase is not the time to talk about marriage. A couple needs to be mature enough to handle the challenges in life, not just the romance.

Marriage As A Good Financial Decision

It is getting increasingly harder for single people to survive on his or her own, in this economy. Of course, cohabitation can ease that burden – but society is set up for married folks, not single. The government rewards married couples by way of deductions, applying for credit on one income is difficult and try buying a house on your own if you aren’t making upper middle class wages.

No Time For Dating So Jumping The Gun

People are busy in today’s society with both men and women working long hours, commuting, tending to family obligations and more. There is little time for dating and finding the perfect mate. Some people latch on to the wrong partner or push serious commitment too hard and fast, for fear of being alone or never finding a mate.

Everyone Is Doing It – Peer Pressure

It seems this may be the most common problem and reason why marriage isn’t the ultimate declaration of love. It is a milestone to achieve, something you just “do.” Society tells us to be married, financially secure and raise a family. It all starts with the marital bond, making a home and then becoming a parent. Young couples follow what their peers are doing, family traditions, etc. without much thought or questioning.

No matter if you believe marriage is the ultimate declaration of love or not, it must be observed that many couples aren’t finding this to be the case these days. People get married for the wrong reasons, and just some of those are mentioned above. Regardless, ultimate love is something to be declared every day – by being a thoughtful partner, respecting your lover, being considerate of his or her needs. Marriage is only the beginning of a relationship and years and years of ups and downs lie ahead. In this way, marriage cannot be the ultimate declaration of love, because the couple is just starting down their path – they have a lifetime of love yet to share.


Grace Pamer is a full time romance and relationship writer. She writes romance and marriage proposal tip columns for various publications including YourTango.com and GalTime.com. As seen on FoxNews.com, Cosmopolitan.com, DivineCaroline.com and CanadianLiving.com to name but a few.

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