22 Oct 2012

Is It Acceptable To Propose With A Ring That Isn’t A Diamond?

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Hi Grace, I plan to propose to my girlfriend very soon and have recently been ring shopping to try and find the perfect one to give to her, but I’m struggling to find a diamond engagement ring that I think she would really like. She’s so unique and original that I want the ring to reflect that, and diamond rings seem to be a bit too traditional. I would love to give her something like a sapphire, and I think she might appreciate this, but when it comes to showing everyone I’m worried they won’t approve because it’s not a diamond! What do you think is it acceptable to propose with a ring that isn’t a diamond?



diamond ring


Dear Jason,

Congratulations on your decision to propose, and on your obviously high degree of consideration and love for your fiancé. You sound like a sensitive man who wants to please the woman he loves and knows very well. So my primary piece of advice to you is – don’t worry about the ring, because you are on the right track.

The first clue you give me is when you say that you are having a difficult time finding a diamond ring that she would like. That’s a big clue to me that you are looking for the wrong kind of ring, because you apparently know (either she has told you directly or hinted indirectly, or you have gotten the idea from someone who knows her) that there aren’t many if any diamond versions out there that would please her. So, stop trying to find something that might not be the best in this situation.

Next, you say that she is a one of a kind person and strongly hint that she is not the traditional type of woman. A diamond ring is right in the middle of traditional, and even if you look for a unique setting or design it’s still the stone that everyone thinks they have to have – everyone who is the old-fashioned kind. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, because we all know it takes all kinds. But your description of her leads me to believe that she will appreciate a different approach and something definitely not old-fashioned.

Then you say that you have a sapphire ring in mind and you think she might appreciate something like that – and it seems to me that you are pretty sure that she would want to go the non-conservative route in this situation, so why are you second-guessing yourself at this point? Oh, I see – because you are concerned about what other people might think when they behold the strange, unique, non-diamond engagement ring!

I don’t mean to be sarcastic, but if she is the kind of free spirit you seem to describe and you both are committing to a lifetime together, your worries in this matter are misplaced and unnecessary. The ring you choose will be a symbol of your love, and there are so many choices out there today that something you see is bound to click with you – and with her. Whether “everyone” approves of it or not is, to my mind, being a bit too concerned with what other people think, and I believe your fiancé would agree. At any rate, finding the perfect ring for your lover without being concerned about it being non-traditional will make you feel like you have done a great job, and it will make her love you all the more. So go for it, Jason!

Do you have a question regarding your relationship, or proposal plans? If so then we’d love to hear from you. If you have something to share then please comment below or email gracepamer@gmail.com


Grace Pamer is a full time romance and relationship writer. She writes romance and marriage proposal tip columns for various publications including YourTango.com and GalTime.com. As seen on FoxNews.com, Cosmopolitan.com, DivineCaroline.com and CanadianLiving.com to name but a few.

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