10 Oct 2012

Creating Drama In A Relationship – Is It Worth It?

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I’ve been with my husband for a long while now, but boy were we traveling on a rocky road in the first 12-months. Women can be drama queens, and I was definitely that. Constantly dumping him if he said the wrong thing, and then experiencing an insane yearning, as tears rolled down my cheeks. No wonder the poor guy felt like he was getting mixed messages. I guess it can make a relationship seem exciting to experience drama—just not all the time. It can be draining, but it’s not quite game playing. And yes, the sex was always hot afterwards. I felt like a complete freak!

Creating Drama In A Relationship – Is It Ever Really Worth It?

My untrustworthiness in men has been constant since an uncomfortable breakup when I was younger. Best friends can be so cruel, but I guess some women will do what they can to steal a man. There are books written on “how to keep her keen”, but these strategies often include game playing. For example, playing it mean keeps a woman keen. This is true for women who play men. It’s always easier to play mind games with nice men, as they will always be attentive to our needs, and yes, it is sad that women have to use such drama to gain “girl power.”

The drama continued in my and my partner’s relationship for about 12-months. Each time I ended things, often for a reason that I knew was damn right selfish and stupid, I slipped back into my hermit cave. A part of me wanted him to lash out with hurtful comments. I expected cruelty on some level. If he was cruel to me then maybe I could say “f*** you” but after all this time, he has never said a hurtful word to me, besides calling me a dick occasionally for going overboard with my emotions, which can be manipulative at times. At least I can say that I have a weakness.

How many of us continue to make outrageous demands in a relationship? Many men continue to date women who make them feel like shit? The game playing or drama is constant. She always has to have the last word, and if she doesn’t, all hell breaks loose. It’s pretty dire that she will refuse you sex, but some women are crazy-manipulative and will use sex as a weapon. Even I wouldn’t go that far… as an orgasm is very stress relieving!

Drama can make a relationship seem exciting, but it’s not necessary. It’s something for women to share, as they love to gossip, but it’s not quite the same for men. Men can be very private, and even sharing details of intimacy with close friends is a no-go area, so having to confess that a girlfriend is turning you into a nervous-wreck every time you’re around her can turn the stomach uneasy.

Imagine it like this, you feel like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, as she’s just accused you of cheating on her with Kirsty from Accounts. You know she sounds crazy, and it’s all through jealousy, but you can’t leave her as you love the crazy bitch. She won’t listen to your reasoning. She continues to try to make you confess something you haven’t done. And if you did, you know she would do something crazy like throw paint over all your clothes. If you’re a cool-together guy, try confessing that your girlfriend is a drama-queen to your friends. Some of them may take the piss, or you may get some support, so it’s easier to say nothing and cope alone. Jumping off the cliff is an easy way out.

Gradually, she’ll come to realise that she made a mistake and be apologetic. I suppose the only good to come out of a drama is the hot sex. Drama is what some couples need, but drama is not always necessary to make a relationship work.

Have you been in a dramatic relationship where its full on arguments one minute and passionate sex the next? How how this played out for you? Are you over such relationships or still involved in one? Please share your thoughts on this topic.


Grace Pamer is a full time romance and relationship writer. She writes romance and marriage proposal tip columns for various publications including YourTango.com and GalTime.com. As seen on FoxNews.com, Cosmopolitan.com, DivineCaroline.com and CanadianLiving.com to name but a few.

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