17 Apr 2012

Are Some People Destined To Find Love, While Others Chase Indefinitely?

No Comments Featured Articles, Relationships

There are many people out there seeking answers on how to find love. If you are one of them, know that you are not alone. The question is found everywhere you look – on the internet, in books and it is even the theme in many Hollywood movies. The harsh truth, however, is that finding love isn’t a mathematical equation, a statistic or a mystery to be solved. The answer to finding love lies inside of you and you alone.

So are some people destined to find meaninful relationships while others chase indefinitely? Yes, but not in the way you might think. Those who are finding the perfect lover and partner aren’t just lucky, having no impact over their destinies, they actually draw love into their lives. You see, the problem with “looking for love” is actually quite simple – you are looking. You are, in effect, an observer in your own life instead of an active participant.

Here are some qualities that separate those who find an everlasting love from those who continuously keep searching:


As an example, when you look at a skydiver, ice skater, musician or even a bull rider in a rodeo, are you more drawn to the energy and passion released from those who are totally alive and engrossed in their passions or are you drawn to the audience members watching the performances?

You needn’t do one of these exhilirating activities to live life to the fullest. What is important, however, is finding what makes you fulfilled. Your interests may lie in volunteering, taking care of your body and mind or becoming a parent. The “what” doesn’t matter, but that you are living a life that is meaningful to you certainly does. When you feel alive and are passionate about your life, you will draw others nearer because of the energy and vitality you give to others.


Now using the same examples above, what would happen if the bull rider or ice skater were looking around the audience or thinking about other things instead of focusing on the performance? Most likely, they would fail or get injured. If you love horseback riding but instead of being in the moment when riding, you engage in the activity hoping to meet a life partner in another rider from the group, you aren’t focused on yourself and you aren’t an active participant in your life. You appear to others like the ice skater who has his or her mind on other things, and others can sense your disatisfaction with your life.


Those looking for love indefinitely aren’t always without dates, they just cannot seem to find a relationship that lasts. Desperate to find love, if there is physical attraction, they will often ignore all of the red flags surrounding incompatibility.

Those who find true love have self confidence and know what important attributes their lover must have for the relationship to have a chance. They will pass on dating those who are blatantly at odds with their ethics, beliefs, hopes and dreams. They don’t spend time in relationships hoping the other person will change someday.


Another quality that separates those who find love from those who keep searching is that they know there isn’t a magical time or place where lovers come together. They don’t need patience because they are happily living their lives and know love will be just another beautiful chapter in their lives someday.

When you are alive and out in the world, when you are feeling focused and fulfilled in your own life, love will find you. When you search for it in singles bars or stay inside your home watching television, you’ve built a wall around yourself that is keeping the opportunity for true love locked out.


For those searching for love, it can be difficult to watch friends getting married, having children and finding soulmates. Once again, however, keeping your focus on everyone else instead of yourself keeps you from fulfillment and radiating that energy that brings love into your life.

Simply finding love or exchanging vows in no way guarantees a lasting love, which one can see by the amount of divorces that take place every day. The key is to wait for lasting love, no matter what age you are when it appears. When you find your soulmate, you will know, because he or she will compliment your life, not take from it. There will be no doubts that he or she is “the one.”

It is human nature to want to find love, to have a partner to share our lives with. But to find a lover for a lifetime, the initial work starts inside of you. Finding a loving relationship isn’t something to be checked off of a “to do” list. People find it at all stages and ages of life. When you love yourself and live a fulfilling life, you won’t feel the need to chase after love – it will find you, guaranteed.


Grace Pamer is a full time romance and relationship writer. She writes romance and marriage proposal tip columns for various publications including YourTango.com and GalTime.com. As seen on FoxNews.com, Cosmopolitan.com, DivineCaroline.com and CanadianLiving.com to name but a few.

Connect with her on

No Responses to “Are Some People Destined To Find Love, While Others Chase Indefinitely?”

Leave a Reply