I can’t tell you how much your letter touched me, and changed me in a very profound and serious way. The question of how to deal with the past and people and relationships from the past is one of the most weighty and potentially life-changing questions a person can face. You and I have a history that stretches back many years into our early lives, and we have affected each other in many ways, effects which reverberate into the present. So, we have to learn to live with what happened and with what it means for the present, whether we really want to do so or not. It seems that we have no choice in these kinds of things, and your attempt to get in touch with me only emphasizes this fact of life.
So here’s what I think about what’s going on with you and me. You have changed and grown, and the person you are now is quite different than the one you used to be. You did things when you were younger and less considerate and mature that you are not proud of – don’t be ashamed, so did I! And now, when you think about how you broke my heart and the pain that it must have caused me, you come to me to ask for forgiveness.
But that’s not all. You also seem to ask me for a second chance at a relationship, another try that will mend the wounds of the past and begin a new chapter. I want you to know that I understand this impulse completely, and I have to be honest and say that I’ve thought about it too. When I remember our time together, I remember the chemistry we had, and the love we shared until the breakup. I say shared because, yes, I loved you deeply, and in many ways I still do. But I can never say that any fantasy like this could ever become real, simply because I was so damaged from the way it all happened.
So as much as I appreciate your reaching out to me and your expression of love, I have to tell you that we simply can’t think about getting back together. Even though we might think that we feel love for each other, or that we could move past the hurt and the issues of the past, it realistically isn’t possible. But here’s the good part – I do forgive you for what you did to me all those years ago that’s why I’m writing you this letter of forgiveness, and I am sorry for any part that I played in ending our relationship. I can say that I love you and that you will always hold a special place in my heart, but we have to move on.
You are brave and courageous for getting in touch, apologizing, and asking for forgiveness. I really do appreciate the difficulties you must have faced to go through with the whole thing. And I hope you take my response as sincerely and openly as I mean it to be. But this has to be the end, and we have to hold on to our good memories, let go of the pain, forgive ourselves, and live separate lives. I truly wish you all the best and I am certain that you will find love, romance, and the woman of your dreams. You deserve nothing less.