I am looking at my ceiling and grabbing both of my arms, positioning my pillow in back of me, just to feel the closeness I long for from you. For a moment I imagine you are holding me and kissing me gently on my head. I bury my head in your chest just to smell your scent, so when I wake I have the memory of your scent clear in my mind. I close my eyes and hope to never wake up and not feel you near me. “Stay with me” I whisper and don’t let me go, hold me as tight as you can until I fall asleep.
Falling asleep to the sound of your voice is my lullaby and it soothes my spirit and soul. If you only knew that the comfort of your arms could ease me when I am angry, sad or when I am missing you desperately. The world disappears and in that moment time stands still. You can shift slightly in bed and I will quickly awake to pull myself closer to you, just to be near you. I beg you not to go but you say to me “ I will be back, I came only to ease your fears for a while”.
I hold back my tears but my eyes burn from it building up in my eyes. You look at me, rub my face and whisper the word “believe”. I quickly awake in my bed to find myself all alone, calling out your name hoping to feel your warm body next to me. Crying I call your name again but it was just a beautiful dream… Will you make my dream come true?