07 Aug 2013

A Love Letter About Making Love

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Dear Joshua,

I know that your religion is an extremely important part of your life, something that you do and feel as naturally as breathing. I also know enough about your faith to know that the core belief is love – God’s love for his creation, and his creatures’ love for him. I have been your girlfriend long enough to realize the deep love you have for God, and for me, and for life in general. I ask you to be patient and hear me out with this love on your heart, because this love letter about making love may shock you, but I feel it’s the only way to tell you how I feel.

There is no room for doubt between us that we love each other and are committed to making a life together, of this I am sure. There is also no doubt that as soon as we can make our relationship legal in the eyes of the government, and sanctified in the eyes of God, we will do so. But until then, I want you to think about us making love.

I understand that in your religion, having a physical relationship before marriage is considered a sin, and I am not going to argue with that dogma. However, I am going to argue that you and I need to and should make love, for many reasons. One is the importance of touch for human beings, and the frustration that happens when touching has to stop – unnaturally, in my opinion. Everyone wants to feel the connection that happens when humans touch, and making love is the ultimate extension of that desire. I want to touch you, and for you to touch me, in the intimate ways that bring us close and form a closer bond between us.

Being able to make love means that we can express our love for each other in the most passionate and spiritual way, because it is the best way to make a connection between our souls. Touching the way that lovers touch not only makes a deep connection, but it literally makes – in the sense of creates – love, and we love each other enough to understand the importance of creating love every moment of our lives. To make love is not just a physical act – it is a way for souls to communicate, and a way for love itself to be nurtured, refined, and strengthened.

The key to my argument that we should make love is commitment. The bond that already exists between us cannot be weakened by physically expressing our love, it can only be made stronger. The sense of being promised and of being together spiritually will get better and stronger as well, because we are making love and reaping the benefits in many ways.

I love you so much, Josh, and I want to make love with you for the rest of my life, but I don’t want to wait until our commitment is formalized. Let’s try to think of sin as something that can only happen in the absence of love, because sin literally is a lack of love and all that goes with it – compassion, consideration, non-violence, humility, and so on. When we make love, all of those things and more will be in the room with us, and so will God.

Yours always,


Grace Pamer is a full time romance and relationship writer. She writes romance and marriage proposal tip columns for various publications including YourTango.com and GalTime.com. As seen on FoxNews.com, Cosmopolitan.com, DivineCaroline.com and CanadianLiving.com to name but a few.

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